first_day_at_school epitome of incomprehensibility After twenty-something odd-and-off years at school, the first day still makes me nervous. Last night, my mind finally, in-fully, eased into sleep around 1 AM, but woke up several times, like a child poking their head up in impatience during a meditation session. Mediation session. Between the different parts of my brain. One dream had me picture a Google calendar and then jolt awake with the thought that I didn't want to learn "the enemy's language"; I'd temporarily taken on the identity of Mrs. Z, a minor character in the Winter saga. Conscious brain: okay, I'm a 30-something Canadian linguistics student in 2022, not a Polish woman in 1945 who's initially wary of Tamra's German-speaking cousin. Alarms ring 8, 8:10, 8:20. I keep telling myself I'll get up before they all go off. By the time I'm downstairs, the parents want to use the bathroom first, so my shower gets pushed back, and then I ask Dad to drive. Hurried breakfast. He's too distracted to be exasperated with me, worried as he is about Shiloh biting his hand when he tried to stop the dog from chewing on a bone left on the street. He doesn't want that to be a pattern. Does he think there's something wrong with him, raising children with hair-trigger tempers? If dog is a subset of child. They mellow eventually, right? But the 34-year-old one just wants a ride to the bus so she won't be late for class. Internmediate German means a happy medium! The first prof was too easy on her students, the second too tough. The third, Goldilocks. Germify: Gelthaare? Money-hair, okay. If hair were money, money would be time, and all the German profs so far have grey hair. Front row seat to the show where she pretends to grab students' stuff unless they said, "Nein, das ist mein(e) [correct word for whatever thing it is]." Creativity level: productive. Humour reading: mostly harmless to promising. Andere studenten? About 20. In my row, two: Asher (I think) to my left, Vlad to my right. He has glossy blackish-red nail polish but is shy. At the end, when we're given free reign to mingle and introduce ourselves, he says his mind isn't working in German at present. I wonder whether he wants to continue our conversation or not, compromise by saying in English, "Yeah, I don't remember a lot of it either," then ask to get past so I can talk to other people. Neil has grey hair, so I use Sie instead of du for "you" (prof's semi-joking rules). He studies theology. Oh cool. Ich studiere Linguistik. Several other students here are in linguistics, he says. (I need to get him to say this in English.) He speaks better German than I do. Favourite movie was a possible question. Me? Ich weiss nicht. Er? Being There, mit Peter Sellers. I try to say I've heard of the actor but not the movie. Actually, I have; I read the novella it's based on for a student's course. The writer? A possible plagiarist; good storyteller; possibly bisexual, but then I'm biased. Two asses, one here and one there. David discussed the movie with me a little: question was whether the ending was a deliberate retreat into vagueness rather than productive ambiguity. He thought the final musical number of Hedwig and the Angry Inch was this. The book ended with Main Character Who's Single-Minded About Gardening But People Think He's Deep getting absorbed in the presidential garden, like my dreams that exaggerate the attention-wandering (e.g. dream_tutoring) but are sometimes delightful that way. I say delightful a lot these days. I need to go to sleep soon. After a hurried lunch, twenty minutes squeezed between classes, semantics was just semantics. Or rather not semantics, because merely the intro. Prof paced excitedly, talked about developing "high-quality ignorance." You THINK you know what meaning is, but you really don't. Mind blown! Me: Meh, heard it in Language and Mind. Set theory? Saw it in Phonology. Words in sets? Did it in Syntax. Your Hyper-Type Gay voice? You borrowed it from the Historical 1 prof. His line of study is more interesting, because because...because maybe hard science scares me and anyway I can't say anything about gay voices because it's a male stereotype and what am I? Femblob, bi-invisible. Not a yass queen - that's femme-type more than hypertype anyway. Sophie, hyperpop, passed away young. I am alive and why? Je ne talk pas any popular way. I sort of whine, honestly, and I hate it. NO. Stop the self-confidence wavers. No need to be either overconfident or wimpy. Done early. Yay. Now to get gift cookies and go to the office and figure out how Anastasiia's name is pronounced: an-a-sta-SEE-a. Well then. Did not expect. She's shorter than I thought she'd be. B. oppressing her already? Nah, but a lot of stuff to do. Less pressure on me, just coming in for admin part time. Oh, just you wait, K. You'll have a lot on your plate too. It's only the first day of term. 220906 ... e_o_i Oh, yes, and then I stayed at the office for my online tutoring class with Lauren. At Concordia metro, veggie thali and German verbs for supper. 9:15 train home. Dog calm, wanted tummy-rub. Der Hund durf nicht...bite? Bitte, ne bite pas. At home, trying to be responsible and buy the German textbook. Couldn't. Checking transaction message, wouldn't go through. Called bank near 11 PM and person said credit card had a hold on it for online purchases and to call the security team tomorrow. I think I need to reset my PIN because I don't know it, and that and that caused me trouble in England and later the bank website wouldn't let me and then I forgot about it and I need to set up the new computer before Friday aaaah. Try to remember your day wasn't too bad overall, self, because this time it wasn't. 220906 what's it to you? who go blather from