reset kerry phil, my favorite professor, told us that it's important to find some way to reorient, reset, refocus between therapy sessions or after work. he washes his hands thoroughly, paying attention to every finger, every knuckle, massaging his palms. it's a form of mindfulness i guess. for a little while i thought lying on the floor/couch/bed was a good way to rid myself of other people's insecurities, angst, anxieties, fears, etc. it didn't really work. i could hear their stories replaying in my head as i washed dishes, walked around the block. i could see their tired faces even when i watched tv. there is one client who i see online who likes to get so close to the camera that i can see the details of the barbell piercing the bridge of his nose, and i often see his wiry shoulders and elfish eyes when i'm trying to read. there is another client who always wears enormous sweatshirts, usually with the sleeves pulled over her hands, and she waves her arms and talks nonstop, and there is a stained glass butterfly hanging on the wall directly above her head. i can see it now. i remembered, eventually, what i used to do after shifts at the shelter. before going to work i'd put my pajamas on top of the washing machine, in the mud room. when i came home in the morning i'd wriggle out of bleach-stained pants and hoodies stinking of unwashed bodies, and putting on my pajamas was how i sealed the day off, put it away. now even when i'm working from home, spending the day sitting on my ass in my office with the sea-green walls and ring light, i end the day by changing my clothes. maybe it's two pm, maybe it's five. it doesn't matter. i discard those clothes, soaked with other people's worries, and replace them with my own. 230418 what's it to you? who go blather from