pretzel
ClairE
I
pulled
into
the
driveway
at
one
thirty
this
morning
,
and
I
put
on
AM
radio
for
my
dad
,
and
heard
, "...pretzel.
The
President
of
the
United
States
of
America
has
...",
and
I
really
thought
they
were
going
to
say
"
dead
".
"...
fainted
."
Oh
.
Well
,
he
practically
broke
his
nose
from
passing
out
.
Apparently
it
hit
a
nerve
in
his
throat
and
his
already
low
heart
rate
slowed
.
I
swear
the
reporter
almost
started
laughing
.
020114
...
ClairE
Well
,
I
thought
they
were
going
to
say
"
died
".
Close
enough
.
020114
...
sweetheart of the song tra bong
While
watching
football
!
A
real
American
man
.
Death
by
pretzel
would
make
a
great
obit.
020114
...
smart-ass birdmad
i
wonder
how
fast
the
secret
service
would
violate
me
if
i
sent
the
whitehouse
a
package
full
of
pretzels
020114
...
kim
bending
in
ways
previously
not
thought
of
020114
...
irate irant
"
It's
a
comfort
to
know
we
don't
ever
have
to
plot
to
assassinate
the
president
...we
can
count
on
a
snack
food
to
do
it
for
us
" -
Tanya
020115
...
Casey
Just
when
some
people
were
beginning
to
think
that
he
was
getting
half
-way decent...sigh,
they
should
have
known
better
.
020115
...
morphine.
delicious
twisty
tangled
mess
,
what_a_beautiful_mess_you_are
.
021220
what's it to you?
who
go
blather
from
