to_know_myself
andrea
vast
operations
of
human
kindness
leave
me
exhausted
&
drowning
in
the
heavy
music
of
their
pity
surprisingly
enough
,
they
feel
sorry
for
me
--the
one
"
helping
"
them
the
one
compelled
to
sort
out
my
own
emotional
knots
through
unraveling
their
lives
into
a
perfect
expanse
of
green
yarn
conversations
with
people
just
met
lead
me
to
discover
more
bruises
spots
of
tenderness
i
was
unaware
even
existed
in
me
-the
hard
one
with
the
walls
i
pretend
are
impenetrable
&
the
smile
that
only
falls
off
my
face
when
i
am
alone
to
squash
it
under
my
callused
bare
feet
i
am
no
one's
glass
menagerie
for
if
they
look
close
enough
they
will
be
able
to
see
the
gleaming
shards
of
glass
that
shine
in
my
eyes
like
so
many
permanent
tears
rocks
thrown
long
ago
created
an
imbalance
, disrupted
my
equilibrium
and
don't
allow
me
to
regain
my
balance
no
matter
how
hard
i
try
copyright
2000
000501
...
rubydee
take
at
least
one
long
walk
a
day
030716
...
dkafhkei
i
have
control
040729
what's it to you?
who
go
blather
from
