steiner
re_alisma
I
found
a
small
algebra
gig
in
Portland
,
but
then
I
remembered
that
I
always
seem
to
have
weird
Steiner
problems
in
my
psyche
every
August
.
Besides
that
the
gig
is
too
small
for
my
family
not
to
feel
betrayal
and
abandonment
in
a
time
of
need
.
I
,
personally
,
would
take
my
chances
monetarily
with
this
one
.
The
first
reason
is
why
I
must
spend
more
time
researching
how
I
feel
about
the
possibility
of
becoming
a
Waldorf
teacher
.
The
second
reason
is
just
the
one
that
benefits
by
my
deciding
against
it
.
I
had
a
dream
last
night
that
some
kids
who
were
doing
a
"
Natural
Magic
"
song
and
dance
caravan
thing
took
all
my
money
,
but
they
mean
to
pay
it
back
,
if
all
goes
well
.
Probably
this
is
how
my
dad
feels
--
I've
taken
his
money
and
I
never
come
up
with
reasonable
ideas
for
how
to
pay
it
back
,
or
at
least
make
it
grow
.
Still
it
would
be
nice
to
camp
out
in
Portland
for
nine
months
,
but
not
if
Steiner smites
me
from
heaven
this
month
.
I
truly
do
have
a
history
of
getting
kind
of
blasted
by
him
so
it's
something
on
which
to
tread
carefully
and
research
further
,
for
career's
sake
(
not
something
to
forget
).
Why
can't
this
be
easier
?
110730
what's it to you?
who
go
blather
from