my_cousin_is_alive raze i had a dream he'd been killed, shot by the police while trying to steal money from a safe in a woman's house. i found out going up the stairs of my high school. a metal band was playing in the hall, hammering out a familiar melodic breakdown. when i got to the floor i wanted, i got the news, and i saw him standing there for a second, watching me get the news, a solemn-looking ghost. the information came from a lawyer. i called him to say thanks for passing it on. he didn't say hello when he picked up. what he said, before he knew who i was: "i'm a little dehydrated at the moment here in the midwest." he was in toronto. i got the chance to give my thanks. after a bit of back-and-forth the line went not dead, but silent. that's been happening here and there for years in dreams, phone conversations ending when the other voice fades away. i keep talking but there's no one there anymore, and i can't get them back, and soon enough the dream itself is gone. same thing again. my cousin who isn't really dead has had a rough ride. his adopted father was a cold, mean man who made his wife a servant. she was a real-life stepford wife, someone told me once. one of the kindest, most generous people you could hope to meet, but you could see how far he'd ground her down. she could never relax. she could never just be. she was my cousin's best friend. i think she was the one person he felt understood him. she killed herself when he was ten years old. i don't know who found her. there's a whole untold story there i wish i knew and am glad i don't know. i remember seeing him in a restaurant when i was a kid, before i knew about any of this, and again at a funeral when i was a teenager. he had perfect hair and movie star good looks. he had charisma. i thought he was the coolest. he got married sixteen years ago. they separated four years later, divorced two years after that. he struggled with depression. he drank. he started following her and her new boyfriend around, calling a dozen times a day, leaving troubling messages. he was convinced his young son was being abused. he was arrested. he spent time in jail. at his sentencing hearing the judge said to him, "are you one of those people — and unfortunately, there are too many in this community — that don't know when a relationship is over and you don't have a right to pursue it?" his lawyer said he was laid off and "he fixated when he was idle". i read about it in a newspaper article five years ago. the article went on to mention a man who terrorized his family in a way that made what my cousin did look saintly by comparison. domestic violence. arson. threats. this guy violated his probation to hide behind the porch of the house he used to live in. when his daughter came home from school and saw him, she threw up. that's the kind of detail that breaks your heart. my cousin who isn't dead, he moved to another town three hours away. he got a job as a painter with a railcar manufacturer. he found a way to keep his son in his life. i hope he finds a way to be okay. 150708 ... epitome of incomprehensibility That can be scary - worry dreams about people you know. I'm glad he's doing better for himself and others. Sometimes make me realize what I'm worried about, or at least they illustrate the worries. For example, the night before last I had a dream about my parents kidnapping me for a U.S. road trip. That wouldn't happen. It wouldn't make any sense. But I guess I felt (rightly or wrongly) that they're trying to control me too much. That isn't to say that my dreams are predictive. Mind you, I had one bizarrely specific dream come true: years ago, I dreamed that my brother would write Narnia fanfiction, which he did a few months later. Spiritual gift: prophet of Mostly Irrelevant Stuff ("I had a dream it would rain on September 14, 2022! Bring an umbrella to work that day!") 150709 ... e_o_i The word after "Sometimes" should be "dreams." 150709 ... raze hey, your dreams are more meaningfully prophetic than mine! once i had a dream a light in my bedroom burned out. a day or two later, it burned out. that's all i got, pretty much. 150709 ... unhinged i think. her abusive boyfriend manipulated her into not talking to me anymore cause he knew i was telling her to leave him. she lives in the upper duplex of our grandpa's house now. as far as i know she isn't with that abusive asshole anymore. but she still doesn't talk to me... 150710 ... raze ... and remarried. and also a bit of a racist, apparently. you think you know someone. 170105 ... raze the phone rang and "correctional services" showed up. no message was left. my first thought was, "it's him. he's in trouble again." an internet search revealed the number didn't match the one that's listed. probably another telemarketing scam. 170725 what's it to you? who go blather from