i_dreamt_that_i_dreamt_31 cr0wl lilly's phone rang like the punctuation of a morning bell in the apple crisp fall air as gavin filled the running-on-empty saab with gasoline. she was thrilled at the dropping price for a gallon and so she cheerfully looked at the screen of her phone to see who was calling. "dennis," she said the name aloud. it sounded like a curse. she pressed the green button tentatively like a fish taking the bait. "hello dennis," she said, trying to sound in control. there is reality and there is illusion. "lilly, my darling," dennis sounded cheerful and slightly relieved. "it's so good to find you. where have you been?" "gavin's farm," lilly answered. she saw the image of baeroun's english garden and its moss laden sculpture of st. francis. she could tell dennis needed her to do something. "what is it, dennis? what do you want from me? you are always taking from me." "listen lilly," dennis urged. "freize magazine wants an interview with you. you must do it. you'll end up in a chelsea gallery by the next weekend." "when?" lilly asked. she knew freize. it was one of her bookmarks. she would do it. she saw gavin finish and squirmed as he got back in the car. "ok, we're on our way back to ventura. see you soon." she threw her phone back into her bag. she reached for the coffee that gavin had bought for her. "thanks." "who was that?"gavin asked. he figured it was dennis but he wanted her to tell him it was. he knew dennnis was a weasel. a snake in the grass that would slither silently around lilly as she slept. it would crawl around her naked body so softly that she would not feel it. "what?" lilly huffed. she heard in gavin's tone the sound of an animal when it is hit with an arrow that does not stick, only wounds. "who were you talking to on the phone?" he asked, and he said the words like an utterance from a chekov play. "who are you? a private dick?" lilly taunted. she deserved his trust. gavin was suddenly sheepish. "sorry." he started the car. ray lamontagne came on the stereo. "let's go home." 081023 ... unhinged ray's raspy voice made lilly wiggle in her seat and she reached over to grab gavin's hand. 'it was dennis on the phone. freize wants to interview me.' the jealousy on gavin's face quickly morphed to amazement. 'you mean freize freize? the magazine?!' she looked at him sheepishly. 'yeah. don't get all starstruck or anything.' she strained against her seatbelt to kiss him. he tried to keep his eyes on the road. 'but that's really amazing lil. you've been showing me articles and interviews and stuff on their website for months. you are like obsessed. and now they want to put you in their magazine. that's completely....ironic or something.' 'it's definitely something i wouldn't have expected in a million years. i wonder what dennis did to hook that up.' a light scowl passed over gavin's face. 'maybe we don't want to know. maybe he's trying to lure you away from me.' lilly stared at him unwaveringly. 'gavin, for real. dennis is an opportunistic evil OLD man. i don't go for that at all, first of all. second of all, if my inklings and my nausea mean what i think they mean...we are going to have a family together. why would i leave you for dennis no matter what sparkly carrots he dangled in front of my face?' gavin squeezed her hand. 'sorry lil. i'm just a mere jealous man after all. i will try not to be a caveman about it anymore.' 'and speaking of, maybe we should stop at the drugstore for a test for, well, just to be sure.' 'to be sure if you're pregnant.' 'right.' it still frightened lilly to say the words. 081030 ... cr0wl "so, what did she say?" the frieze rep asked dennis. she was holding one of lilly's earlier paintings in her hands, an 8x10 of the inside of a red icelandic poppy. "she's coming soon. she wants to do the interview." dennis answered. he bit at a fingernail. "we should meet her at a restaurant in town." he didn't want lilly to find him at her house. he knew there would be a potentially nasty scene and someone could end up hurt. the frieze rep looked baffled and scrunched her nose. "why not just wait for her here?" "come here," dennis urged. he took the woman by the arm and led her upstairs, quickly moving up the worn wooden treads and creaky banister. he led her into the bathroom where lilly's lingerie lay scattered as if she had taken a quick bath to get ready. dennis scanned it with a sensual eye and then pressed the nearly out of breath woman to view a painting that hung on the stucco-pocked wall above the clawfoot tub. it was an image of a small farmhouse with its lights on in the dying presence of a setting sun when every color seems to was across the coming darkness. "look at this," dennis said. he coughed once. "everyone needs to see this." "i agree," the woman said, swallowing. she gazed at dennis with a mixture of fear and respect. "i think meeting her later tonight would be better. it will give her a chance to get ready." dennis seemed to be lost. he inhaled the intoxicating fragrance of lilly. it seemed to hang wistfully in the air around him like a pleasant dream when one awakes, beckoning him to an impossible world. "dennis?" the frieze rep asked. she was slightly concerned about his absent mind. dennis looked at her and then came to abruptly. "shit!" dennis said. "let's go..." 081031 ... unhinged as dennis turned to lead the freize rep down the stairs, coltrane was barring his teeth in front of them. the lady yelped. trane snarled. headlights flashed in the window. 'damnit.' dennis relaxed against the wall, keeping one eye on trane. 'this dog always hated me.' the woman was clutching dennis' hand. he stepped between her and trane. 'hey. that looks like dennis' car in the driveway.' lilly turned in her seat as they pulled in the yard. 'who is that other car?' gavin was quickly losing his temper. 'gavin, don't get upset yet. maybe he brought the person that is supposed to interview me here.' 'he shouldn't be bringing anyone to our house when we aren't home lilly,' he said as he climbed out of the car and slammed the door. 'gavin! please wait!' lilly grabbed the bag from the drugstore and hurried after him. when gavin entered the house, coltrane barked from upstairs. 'good boy,' gavin mumbled under his breath. he bolted up the stairs. 'hey gavin do you think you can call off your dog?' at the last second, gavin noticed the well dressed woman huddled in fear behind dennis. 'not for you. heel boy. come.' trane wearily inched backwards towards gavin, his teeth still showing. gavin kneeled down to look trane in the eye 'it's okay boy. good dog. good boy.' he vigorously rubbed trane's sides until he relaxed. 'i know we shouldn't be in here, but ms....' at that moment dennis blanked on her name. she nervously pushed her glasses back up her nose. 'treel. catherine treel.' she stuck her hand out to gavin. 'sorry catherine. but i have a good guard dog.' 'oh, well....no problem. we were kind of trespassing after all. i just wanted to meet lilly as soon as possible.' lilly appeared next to gavin. 'hi. we were out meeting gavin's parents today. sorry if you were waiting long.' 'oh how quaint,' dennis sneered. lilly could feel gavin tense beside her. 'hey gavin, why don't you take trane out?' gavin glared at dennis and reached over to kiss lilly on the cheek before going back downstairs. 'i'm sorry, but it's been a very long day and i have to admit i'm kind of pissed to find you in my house, upstairs no less.' dennis started to sputter. 'i have some health issues i need to take care of tonight. is it possible for us to have lunch tomorrow?' catherine blushed. 'yes, very possible. after the press meeting this afternoon i have been cleared by the magazine to do whatever i deem reasonable and necessary to get you on board for our london show.' lilly stood gaping, 'press meeting...?' she shot a barbed look at dennis. 'oh lil. i know how you feel about that stuff. i just went ahead and did it on my own. you did hear catherine say london didn't you?' 'i dd di diiid' lilly stuttered. 'i will meet both of you for lunch, but if you'll excuse me...' lilly ran to the bathroom. dennis looked at catherine and shrugged. they set up a lunch meeting for the following day and then dennis and catherine made a hasty exit. lilly immediately shut herself in the bathroom with the pregnancy test. gavin was still throwing the ball with trane in the backyard because they were both still very agitated. of course, the test came back positive. 081031 what's it to you? who go blather from