arrivals DammitJanet the excitement. the anticipation. the anxiety. squished car ride. everyone's name is chris. long lineups. don't dare check the luggage. am i going to be allowed to bring this on?!. suffocating in the crowds. trying to make light of the wait. what do i write here?!. panicking for no reason. i *am* back of the red line. hey, it's like i'm on a city bus. sunrise from 30,000 feet... absolutely incredible. is everyone seeing this?. that wasn't too bad. i thought they broke my bag. make sure we're going down the right finger. your backpack is going to burst. pee break!. seat mixup at all ends. personalized tv's, remote control in the arm rest, 10 channels featuring 4 movies and 4 tv shows and 8 video games!? i LOVE this plane!. paul's not a good flyer. my parents live there, trust me. holy shit it's hot. why aren't i wearing a tshirt under my sweater. okay, you find alice, you find the car, you rent a car, we'll wait here. waiting an hour. can't find alice. can't find our car. and what's taking so long with the rental?. that's it, i'm going in to find out the flight info. the car was stolen??!. 3B mom... 3B. finally getting in the cars. eating starburst and making wrapper strings. waking up to monkeys on the head rest. freezing in pueblo xtra. school bus guy!. the long driveway. roosters crowing. dogs barking. cogui frogs. i'm back. 030109 ... belly fire One thing never changes... everyone ignores the seatbelt light. 030110 ... pilot Dear Friend, I know it’s been sometime since I last wrote, and for this I feel equal sorts of good and bad. On the one hand I feel terrible for losing touch, but as the good counteracts the situation, I feel less terrible. I feel like certain people come into your life to get you through that phase, and the phases that you’ve been with me have ultimately been times of struggle and insecurity. Now could never be farther from that place than ever. In fact, its quite opposite. The good is that I’ve piloted my life into a higher plane, and for the first time feel as though I can truly breathe and love myself for who I am. I just wanted to write you now and tell you about the little bird that visited me this morning. I had just finished a midterm exam for my printing class at the art institute and gone outside for a smoke. The weather is changing in Houston and sooner than we think its going to be unbearably muggy, but for now the mornings are comfortable. Today as most days there’s a haze the enters in the early part of the day and gives way to sun in the afternoon (just when its hottest). I had picked up the latest copy of Papercity magazine (which by the way you’ll be happy to know I’m interning there as a photographer). And had finished the meatier sections , when I an outspoken and deftly brave female sparrow landed on the edge of my table. She just kind of sat there, and she looked at me as if to say, “Well?” I smiled politely as this is the sort of introduction I’m used to and knew that her temperment was, though intrusive and often times unwelcomed, she was a lovely surprise and endearing at that. “Well,” I interjected, “I don’t have any food if that’s what you want, I don’t even have any cigarettes at that!” She collected her thoughts and cocked her head in disbelief. “I’m sorry,” I insisted, “ I just finished this croissant, and there’s not even a few crumbs left. Forgive me it was—“ and then as if she didn’t have the time for a reasonable explanation lifted off to find her friends who were pecking in the gravel near the lawn. “Well, that’s that! Was lovely meeting you but you can’t foot the bill so I’m off.” If only all encounters were as quixotic. Though I don’t believe if they were there would be any magic to compare our moments of true magic. It’s the truth that I believe these moments of magic are something that we can’t forsee, they’re simply something that has been brought to us, by energy and wheels and gears grinding beyond our peripheral vision. We can’t grasp it because we have no awareness of it. And I’m beginning to understand that when we get caught up inside of our plots and plans and ploys, that these serendipities happen less. We simply have to let go and fall in order to know if someone will catch us, and most often someone surely does. I have had yet to actually hit bottom when someone hasn’t interceded (though I’ve always been undoubtedly close). That’s the best part. They just happen. Its as if all of our atoms that make up the energy and existence we are send this message out at the very initiation of the fall and those vibrate out and when we’re least expecting exactly what we need is brought to us, like a sparrow telling me she doesn’t have time if I don’t have food. It’s a wake up call. She doesn’t have anything but she’s just doing her thing. To me, that’s what I’ve been doing: my thing. Just living, not really thinking too hard about the situation, and cosmic luck has found me. There’s so much to catch up on: men and jobs and parties. But all those things aren’t really that important because the thing is, even though for a long time I was lost in Mexico, I realized that everything outside of ourselves isn’t forever, even if we want it to be. One day the objects we’ve anchored ourselves to and thought brought us security, will be gone, the people, the houses, the cars, the clothes. The only lasting thing we have is ourselves and our energy. That’s the one relationship that only you have control over and if you’re disappointed with it, then you have the power to change it. When summer comes, I’m going to let all of it go. My job has been demanding too much of me and the truth is, I’ve outgrown it. I’ve moved on, I’ve gathered my internal resources and its time to generate, initiate, and create with them. I’ve got a shoot coming up Monday, I’ll be sure to let you know how it goes. I’m working with David again. We’ve been creatively joined in marriage. Astrologically the venture works. There’s a similar thought process to our creation. I’m excited. Y luego, espero que todo esta bien en tu Rincon del mundo. Tu eres mi amigote y tkm. 100506 what's it to you? who go blather from