adult_stressors nr knowing how much to spend on a friend's wedding gift 141027 ... nr er, not knowing 141027 ... past thinking about the deterioration of parents, and that of parents of loved ones. 141028 ... epitome of incomprehensibility Wedding presents. I'd ask what he/she wanted first, but I'd get the thing from Value Village if I could. They have furniture-like items these days... yes, it's true (shake your head at me, I don't mind) I'd be that cheap, since my practical side says it's not about the cost, but the desirability and/or usefulness of the gift. Of course I'd subject anything that has fabric to multiple washings... But most realistically, if they expressed no gift preference, I'd push one of my artworks on them (such as a framed batik or painting, if I ever take up painting again). To me, it's a moot point right now since my friends don't seem to be marrying, only the parents or siblings of friends. Hm. The more I think about it, the more it seems stressful in its own way. If I was a good friend of the person, I'd probably worry more than I should about getting something meaningful. My friend liked the batik of a person riding a bicycle I made for her for her birthday - genuinely liked, since she'd gotten a new bicycle and this also matched a card another friend had given her with a stencil on it - but at a certain point people might get bored of random artisan things, and want something useful, or at a certain point I'll lose touch with a friend and not know what they really like anymore and then be taxed with getting them a gift... so yeah. My parents aren't dying right now either, which is a good thing, but it's stressful to see the effects of arthritis sticking its painpricks into my mother's joints and hearing her tell of doctors at the clinic brushing her away with (in essence) "Oh, you're old, deal with it." She's sixty, not a hundred. There are natural food products that help, but she should see a specialist for therapy possibilities as well as possible meds. Getting access to doctors is hard right now. No one has their "own" doctor in this immediate family except my dad. The girlfriend of my fun but irresponsible uncle (the one who called me out of the blue from Cambodia last year) is a doctor herself, but not that kind of doctor. A surgeon. And she lives on the other side of the country. So that's not much help. I can add more! Friends growing apart. Transportation and whether one should learn to drive or not - whether the climate effect outweighs the usefulness potential, and how to find the time and money for such a project. Finding a better job. The ethics and safety of teaching abroad. Money in general. Repaying debt, even to one's parents. Needing to help support retiring (or part-time-working) parents and one's younger brother who wants to go to an out-of-province university. Mothers who've known for years that their daughter doesn't have a particular sexual orientation but would think it icky, though not wrong exactly, if that daughter chose a woman instead of a man for a possible relationship! ...Our main argument, though, is whether "blanket" is a blanket term for bed coverings or not. I say it is, but she corrects me when I refer to a sheet as a blanket. I guess it all comes back to fabric. If I marry anyone - man, woman, or superintelligent shade of blue - you can buy me old blankets. And maybe a thesaurus. I think I'd like a new thesaurus. 141028 ... e_o_i Oh god, I shouldn't be an adult. I think my mental age is about fourteen. Does anyone else feel that way? But if I'm impractical where other people are practical, the reverse is also true in some ways... if that's any comfort. Is it? And sorry for ranting. These are mostly First World Problems and a lot of people are worse off. 141028 ... nr they have a registry, so i went from that. which adds more stress because they'll know how much i spent. but i would like to add something personal... i just have no idea what that should be! 141028 ... e_o_i Ah, I see. If there's a list in the store or online where you can see what's already been bought, I'd get a genre of thing that isn't there yet. I mean, if someone got them a duvet cover, I wouldn't get a quilt, but maybe a set of cutlery (which would be about $40-$50? Something in my mind tells me $20 for a birthday gift and $40 for a wedding gift makes sense... of course, this is the estimation of someone who grew up neither with gobs of cash or dire poverty, and perhaps might be adjusted for inflation.) Yes. I might be adjusted for inflation. That's exactly what I mean :) Something personal, though... I couldn't tell you... I think even a heartfelt note would be nice. Perhaps something fun and goofy if it's a casual gathering or they're less conventional people. (Though how do you tell if someone's "conventional"? I was complaining about it in my mother yesterday, but maybe the word's too vague and inaccurate and even ageist. More likely our problem is our shared past plus religious/philosophical disagreements... I dunno. Check if they go to a lot of conventions?) 141029 ... unhinged patanjali says to eliminate all suffering from the root you stress me out #aintgottime 141101 ... unhinged blather help me blather he won't stop texting and calling. after years, after too many fights, i just want him to go. to stop. to leave me alone. i moved almost two thousand miles to get him to leave me alone. he taught me how to fight. i have no problem unleashing my anger on him. it is ugly. i don't like the person i become when i tell him to fuck off. i want to tell him to fuck off. it won't make a difference. if anything, it will make it worse. he wants to provoke me. any reaction is a good reaction. part of me wants to tell him to fuck off. i will just erase the message and listen to music and cry instead 141223 ... raze can you block his number? that might seem a bit extreme, but sometimes it's the only thing to do. 141223 ... fishawk Block his number Change your number File a restraining order I had to file a restraining order against my last ex, it helped. It also helps that you are not in the same town as him. 141224 what's it to you? who go blather from