home
arinna knowing that it's almost time to leave should make it seem beautiful. but even as the final this and the final that slip by without excitement. ten years in one place is a hole i'm about to escape. 010425
...
unhinged "i wanna go home...i wanna go home. cause when a lover aches that's when a lover breaks. i wanna go home." 010425
...
misstree been so long since i had one... lived lots of places, prowled many a porch, but no place that i really belonged, nothing i could call mine. no place of true comfort. 010426
...
soia everywhere 010427
...
depeche bird "and i thank you
for bringing me here
showing me home
singing these tears
finally i've found
that i
belong here."

Martin L. Gore
010427
...
kyla Good to be back.
The birds are still here,
but the zing is gone.

Where does the zing go, between homes?
010726
...
gwenandbren home is where your crap lies.
(rule #1 of what an $80,000 degree taught us)
010825
...
KnockDownDragOut is wherever I'm not. 010826
...
scarlett home is where the heart is. so where the hell am I? 020102
...
spoons a home next door
thats right bitch
back where you belong
so long farewell aufwiedersehen good bye
i wish...
020219
...
megan your arms 030114
...
Mandy I want to go home. 030313
...
tessa Once you leave, it's not there anymore.
You have to make a new one.
040719
...
crOwl me? oh, home? well, home is where you can be yourself. i think you take a sense of home wherever you go.

but, home as a place, like robin_hill, is pure magic. only the people who live here know what i'm talking about.
040917
...
monee i'm looking for a house 050102
...
tessa I hated it at first, the strange rooms, different walls and carpet, unfamiliar light and noises.

But I made it home. I made it my space, and I have come to love the light sifted through the giant tree outside the window. I looked forward to a day to my self, to spend in my little unit.

And now I'm leaving, so soon. Back to the place that was once home and now no longer is. Dismantling this home so carefully constructed.

Where will my next home be?
051018
...
nom i don't know if i'll ever really live anywhere 060124
...
nom time to go home 070202
...
gja 'ome is where the 'art is.
To true.
I look forward to being there.
People - there hearts and souls - that I know.

For a while I didnt have that - its terrifying.
I had an accident - a long while ago - a bad one - major injuries - two weeks in hospital - morphine - but thats a different story.
They discharged me - I sat on seat outside the hospital - I didnt know where to go. I cried buckets, and, laughed hysterically. Terrifying.
They discharged
070810
...
; i've got a yellow bucket, it's not full yet, 070810
...
tessa there's no going home 080415
...
c r 0 w l one of several words in my chihuahua's growing vocabulary. 080415
...
zedel one day I will go home
and stay there
forever
080622
...
anouk i feel so healthy here 080913
...
anouk the most surprising thing is how many people here still need me. 080917
...
past i got halfway to work, turned around, and slept the day away. 080917
...
anouk every now and then
the words pop into my head

"i want to go home"
090505
...
unhinged i need to sit at the dining room table and do puzzles with my mother. i do word searches. she does sudoku. and we sit at the table and talk while we do our puzzles like old ladies.


i need my mother. her hugs. no one here hugs me. not well anyways. in almost two weeks. i'll lay in bed, cuddle, and watch tv with my mom. it will be the best vacation i've had in years.
090505
...
anouk it will 090914
...
zedel Am I home now? 100604
...
zedel this one emerges slowly
from the things around me
every now and then I feel it

from the nightmare stress of moving day
not to be thought of
to, week by week,
gathering furniture that feels right

the rooms take shape
the moods and patterns
and I begin to see how to live here
what it means to live with you

there is still more to come
and this won't be home forever
but I think I'm going to like it
yes, I think this one is going to be good
100820
...
Webley Is where I feel I should belong. 120408
...
epitome of incomprehensibility Well, here I am, back from my big trip of the year to exotic Ontario.

I'm still feeling an emotional jet lag. Not real jet lag. Dorval and the little towns around Kingston are in the same time zone, and I didn't take a jet. But I feel that I was respected there as being talented, whether that was true or not, and with my immediate family I'm regarded as somewhat of a failure.

But let's be real. I deserve to be called lazy sometimes. In fact I spent two hours today playing a silly math-puzzle game based on exponents of two (called 2048, if you're tempted).

I do have a certain nostalgia for exponents of two. I memorized them up to 65536 back in elementary school, being a wannabe nerd.

I guess I've momentarily satisfied my longing for different places, but not for different experiences. I'm not asking the universe for another Italy trip. Mainly I want an interesting job that doesn't just involve minimum-wage computer tutoring.
140814
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from