having_not_wanting reue should i shed this excess? this isn't not what i wanted, at least not now. she wants to come see me and the thought brings dread. is that me being overly territorial? maybe just scared of her? scared of what might happen if she sticks around to much? she says she doesn't want anything 'serious' and i agreed whole heartily. but really does she imply? she wants a shoulder and some security without the commitment. i wanted the security too, but i think i got my fill. i love being in her arms, but it doesn't matter if the arms are hers. i don't want to change my life, the life i am just now starting to understand and change for the better, to her standards and tribulations. its better to go without in this case. or is it really? what harm can come from this arrangement? so i have to give up a few days every month, a couple 1/2 an hours here and there. is that such a big deal? should it be? confusion and disarray *sigh* maybe next blathe - looking for the light 050120 what's it to you? who go blather from