resilient no reason or maybe this is more apt 080106 ... ungreat I am more resilient than I would have given myself credit for. A few years ago recent events would have crippled me. Somehow I have coped, even though I all to often feel that I must be toxic. Even though I feel like my body is poison and that I've failed myself. Yet I'm still here. Breathing, eating, drinking, living. I thought that moving into the future I'd be immune from further hurt, having had the lion's share, but it just keeps piling up. All the bad karma I've incurred through out my life is waiting for me at my door, and like a blind idiot, I've walked through the threshold. Now all I keep thinking is, "What's next?". I get through each day waiting. I'm surviving. I'm determined that this will pass. I tell myself that there are better days ahead. I get through each day thinking that I'm more resilient than I could have ever imagined. I haven't crumpled under the burden, and although I feel my heart breaking, it keeps beating. 120320 ... grateful Time to start incurring some good Karma. 120321 what's it to you? who go blather from