indomitable ungreat This is what it is. I'm the pessimist. when given medicines to make an ailment better i convince myself that it wont work, to prove its not a placebo because im sure my doctors are lying to me. im aware they think im a hypochondriac. so when it works in spite of my beleifs it proves that the doctors this time took me seriously. Thats just like how we are. i doubt you every second of every day because if i didn't it would mean you loved me, and that can't possibly be true because i'm the fat girl, who's totally uninteresting, and boring and a mess. so i doubt you all the time so that when i'm loved i know its not faked, not some cruel joke, because so many times it's been funny to play with other peoples' glass hearts. and you never understand. i have to be indomitable. i have to be contrary. i have to take care of me. 080322 what's it to you? who go blather from