soia mikey hey! i just wanna say i hope you dont think im following you around trying to contradict everything you blather! ive been reading and gosh it looks like it! just wanted to say this. hey now you have your own Blather topic. "soia"!! 010306 ... nocturnal at work should be given full rights and ownership of red blather. I've been watching for weeks now and almost no one comes here anymore. soia, however, blathes here quite often and in high quantities. if it were mine to give, I just want you to know I'd give it to you. 010605 ... j_blue its a pretty name, too bad it conjures up visions of tasteless bean mush shaped into ugly white bricks 010606 ... kendera such a lovely name. and i'm glad this red place is kept quite minimal. blue resort towns suck. 010606 ... cheshire Sick Of It All 010606 ... soia If anyone was to be given rights, it should be birdmad/grendel/man of many names. He doth blather much more than I. SOIA for me conjurs up images of men with bad haricuts playing ass kicking hardcore (www.sickofitall.com). 010606 ... birdmad i saw them last with H20 opening for the Misfits we painted our faces like skulls that night 010606 ... soia request: I would like to be interviewed. It's my unfulfilled dream. I want to be asked "so now that you're 20, what wisdom have you gained?" or something dumb like that I want to be asked things I haven't thought about before 010614 ... silentbob break neck...gently chase perve....swiftly 010621 ... soia come here... now 010621 ... kendera this is how i pronounce this name, and i think i'm doing it wrong... soy-yah = soia! 010622 ... soia when I type it my mind thinks "soy-yah", but as previously mentioned it's just an acronym 010622 ... guess a gemini a walking contradiction painfully self conscious incredibly austentatious all at the same time you left you're sad you think we left you but this is what you waited for 010713 ... soia You DID leave me I've never been so alone in my life and I know it's partly my fault for getting so wrapped up in my ex that I didn't have any friends- but then I made friends, but then you all left so I made new friends but some fucking friends they are- 1 is in reno, and 2 are sleeping 2 would rather sleep at 8:30 on a friday night than hang out with me I have never felt so alone or so bad in my whole life I can't figure out how I got here I can't figure out how to get out it's taking everything I have not to want to die I just keep crying and crying god this is so fucked up 010713 ... soia whenever I proclaim disaster, something happens to make things better you'd think I could just avoid it 010714 ... birdmad i've still no sign that she's made it home safely from her trip i am beyond worried 010921 ... birdmad ...talked to me this afternoon my sigh of relief was so forceful that i nearly caved in like a startled soufflé 010921 ... soia get over it 010922 ... stoic hello. in ' self ', you hinted that you understood the strange combination of self confidence and low self esteem. i was just wondering if you felt like sharing your understanding? 040131 ... soia I'm not sure if it's a good thing to be able to access evidence of your public freakouts and most embarrassing moments, 20 years later. But here it is, and here I am. Here are my current thoughts on the relationship between self-confidence and low self-esteem. Having low self-esteem is destabilizing. You can't keep living and moving forward if you feel you're incapable. So we can compensate in a few ways, in order to survive. We can become over-confident in certain areas, to try to balance the lack of confidence in other areas. (See: incels) Or we can seek approval from others to try to fill the void. It took me a looooooong time to develop a reasonable amount of self-esteem, and I'm still working on it. I could pontificate further on how that went down, but I think I'm done imagining that someone who asked a question in 2004 is ever going to come back looking for an answer. Hopefully they've already found one. 211129 ... raze as someone who struggled with low self_esteem for decades, who still struggles with it sometimes, and who used to wish he could delete some of the things he wrote on blather when he was younger and more pretzel-shaped, this resonates a lot. (now i'm kind of grateful for the impermanence of it all. as much of a mixed blessing as it's been, it allows me to see how much i've evolved. i mean, i look less like a pretzel now and more like a person. i think that counts as growth. maybe.) also, i just want to say how good it is to see you here. 211130 ... raze (i mean to type "permanence", not "impermanence". yikes.) 211130 what's it to you? who go blather from