ghosting nr the fact that so many people do something that is so shitty that its own term has been invented is depressing. beyond extreme extenuating circumstances, there is no excuse for this. 170625 ... unhinged he decided to use valentine's day to tell me he wasn't really interested in a relationship with me. we had been having sex for a couple months after his live_in girlfriend moved out. my heart knew i was just the hole he was using to forget her, that there was no real future in what we were doing, but the orgasms fooled my brain who then turned around and fooled my heart. (it's what evolution has brought us to make babies, to continue the species. it's not just weakness on the part of woman, it's wired into our goddamn brains assholes, to feel in the heart the connections our bodies make). and then valentine's day came and his developing standoffishness became words that pushed repeat on most of my adult relationships. never really stating what i wanted or needed, just giving everything i assumed the other could receive, his words cut the strings that tied me to him. i pretended i didn't care so that i couldn't be accused of being emotional. he tried to act like the truth hadn't severed anything, that we could still fuck now that it didn't mean anything, said that if my feelings changed to please talk to him. i just nodded. but my feelings were already changed. immediately. he didn't want me, just my body. i felt like a fool for sharing my writing with him. i shrunk into myself like the turtle i am. i got an email from someone else, asking me to dinner. i intuited something besides friendship from the invitation. i felt like i was cheating even though he didn't want a relationship with me. i accepted the invitation anyways. my intuition was right; he kissed me and asked me to spend the night with him. i stopped talking to the one i had put hope in cause i felt like a slut. i had let someone else touch me. it didn't feel the same. but it severed everything else. i just stopped talking to him. but then i outgrew the shame and guilt and his words came back to me 'if your feelings ever change just tell me'. i wrote him an email about feeling bad for not upholding that, but that i felt like he used me to get over his ex. he must have felt attacked, basically pinned it all on me, claimed he was open about his ex (when his friend told me more about it than he ever had). i had given up the habit of having to get the last word, but couldn't help myself. he never responded. most people don't know how to listen. they don't know how to accept another person's feelings without arguing. i hate when people leave without a word but all the words i've ever had about leaving didn't change much. maybe saying nothing is the coward's way out. maybe saying nothing is the buddha's way out. i can't decide. 170625 ... nr i guess it can depend on the situation; i meant in a more traditional dating sense. i go back and forth about going into detail about things like this, but in short (ish), my situation is this: i tried doing the online dating thing for a bit, and was talking to this guy for a bit before i decided to remove my profile (he was cool, and we'd moved on to texting, but beyond that, i wasn't really feeling the whole online thing). we texted for awhile before meeting; i had to reschedule because i was sick, and then he had to too because of a surprise family visit, but we eventually met up and it was fun. then he got sick, so we had to wait before meeting again, but he was clear that he really wanted to meet up again after the illness cleared up. and we met up again, and had a good enough time that we decided to meet again later that evening and it ended up being for about six hours. then he had to go back home for a few days, but contacted me immediately after he got back, and we got together. then we got together again the next day. i was leaving for chicago the day after (just for a few nights) and he said to let him know when i got back. when i got back, before i had the chance to contact him, he texted me saying he hoped i'd got into town ok and that he was out of town for a few days due to a family emergency. he said he would likely have to go back and forth for awhile, and was still trying to wrap his head around everything, and wanted to give me a heads-up. i thought that was nice of him to do. so i told him i was sorry to hear about the family emergency, and to let me know if he needed anything (even in the form of a punny text or something). no response for days, and then i saw that he was back on the online dating website (he had taken down his profile at some point; not sure when or why). i didn't really know what to think about that, but i decided to text again and say hi and that i hope things are going okay. no response. first of all, it's the complete 180 that throws me. i guess it's possible that things are still going on with him, but it seems like a bad sign that he has time and energy to be on a dating site but not to text me back. i find it so insulting to feel like i'm not even worth any response at all. not even a thank you. 170625 ... unhinged i know what you mean. i had a situation about a year ago that i guess could best be described as talking to someone, but his think veiled questions about my sexual preferences made it not really a platonic thing. one day we were talking about what we wanted in relationships general and after my spectacular gaffs in the dating arena in recent years i was just honest and told him i wasn't interested in having a relationship with someone that would get bored a ditch me after a few months. he didn't say another word to me until i contacted him about six months later cause i was lonely and had always felt like there was no reason we couldn't be friends. he asked me to befriend his girlfriend recently... online/app dating encouraged this shit because when people go on the internet they see infinite possibilities which means they use any little excuse to bail at the first sign of anything vaguely unpleasant which they generally deem as need. as if human beings should be perfect and any hint of emotion or interest is seen as week and clingy. in the past year i have given up on relationships. with the current tech driven perfection fame seeking culture, i can't survive the callous rejection. no point in exposing myself to that. 170625 ... unhinged (i hate autocorrect) 170625 ... unhinged mutually circumstantial doesn't make it any less painful unfortunately 220106 what's it to you? who go blather from