tmi tender_square how can i be guarded when i'm an open-hearted person? i have trouble trusting that people are looking out for my interests when i know i have to advocate and protect myself. when is it vulnerability and when is it oversharing? people whisper in networks like these and i want control over what i share and with whom. i feel weak when asked personal questions, and step into the truth of what i am and where i've been. i don't know any other way. 230615 ... nr maybe we can teach each other, tender_square, because i feel the opposite. how can i be open when i feel so hesitant to trust? 230616 ... tender_square nr, let's freaky friday this shit and see how the other half lives. p.s. i'm so happy to see you back here. it's been a long time. 230616 ... epitome of incomprehensibility I'm like this in a literal sense: I give too much information when talking. Not necessarily personal things, just irrelevant details. I was telling TK about a situation that was covered in one of my sociolinguistics articles. Basically, a group of British English speakers found a group of Indian English ones "disinterested" or "rude" because they didn't raise their voice pitch at the ends of questions. What they thought was rudeness was really only a cultural-linguistic difference. But since I forgot whether the setting for this situation was an airport cafeteria or a restaurant, I spent a good while hemming and hawing aloud about that. TK's face was all, "get to the POINT, Kirsten." (Also, nice to see you, nr!) 230617 ... nr tender_square that made me chuckle. let's totally do it, and and call it "wacky wednesday," and then make a totally and completely different movie about it and make millions. e_o_i i feel like i do the opposite of what you do too, in a way. i tend to try to condense a story or speak quickly so not to lose someone's attention. maybe all of us red_family balance each other out. and thanks for the love. i've missed you all. 230617 ... nr i'm being punished for something my body does naturally that anyone in the past has thought of as a compliment. 230701 ... e_o_i In the colloquial sense, as in sharing something that could gross out or embarrass others, I think the term has some validity. Some. Because I think things can be embarrassing without being shameful. I think a distinction should be made. Because, yes, there are things you might not shout out in public, but that doesn't mean someone should be ashamed of them. That's how sex and things get seen as "dirty" when they're often that more innocent thing - embarrassing. ... And sometimes it can help to share "tmi" things. Medically, for instance. Or just to compare experiences and laugh. Like, would you guess that antibiotics (prescribed because of when_the_dog_bites) can make your poop weirdly crumbly and flaky? You read "side effect: possible diarrhea," and you think it'll be a wetter sort of grossness. And the most annoying thing about it, is after a week of this alternating with constipation, I get a sore, itchy asshole. So, to Mom: "It's my bad Christian karma - when I'm an asshole, guess where I'm punished??" Partly I'm apologizing for suggesting that my parents didn't raise the dog OR me right. But Mom rolled her eyes in a way that suggested she found my phrasing vulgar and/or irreverent, although she sympathized with my symptom. Then, last morning, I see a blob of blood the size of a loonie or toonie in the toilet. And panic. What's happened, some gruesome twisting of the rectum? A cyst? This isn't just irritated capillaries, hemorrhoids, whatever. I'll need an operation...AND IT WILL BE EMBARRASSING. But I also recall that when I lose more blood than a spoonful I tend to feel dizzy. I'm scared, but not dizzy. And then I check to see where the blood is coming from. Yup. Guess who started her period a couple of days early? The relief made me laugh. ... I also recall an earlier conversation with Lia whether it was more embarrassing to talk to doctors about birth control or poop. She insisted anything sexual was more embarrassing. I said it was the poop. But all that depends on what the situation is and who you are. 230715 what's it to you? who go blather from