press_one_if_you_want_customer_service Lick I fucking hate this impersonal shit. 040129 ... xyz your call is important to us. 040129 ... mon and_the_winner_is 040129 ... Zeromancer Thank you for calling 1-800-SUICIDE If you wish to self terminate by electric shock - press one For termination by overdose - press two If you would like to make a reservation at the end of our drowning pool - please press three For termination by hanging - please press four For death by self inflicting gunshot - press five To speak to a representative, stay online If you do not wish to die - please hang up now 040306 ... kaibutsu dorothy_parker says you might as well live. 040307 ... cat they tell you to hold no really they do, im not being metaphorical or, symbolic, poetic, something they tell you to hold (gun? knife? bottle? syringe? how many ways could a person kill themself ?) 040630 ... Ugh. Your call will be answered by the next available representative. 100116 ... ergo If you press that one just right, wow! 100117 ... lunatic hsgesus We're sorry, the part_y_ou are trying to re_ch_eese knot oy_vey_label. 100117 what's it to you? who go blather from