i'm_hurting_tonight Lila Pause I'm hurting, for no good reason at all. I'm dwelling on the past. And trashing the present. I want to cash in the future for the sort of petty sum that will only pay for the next hit. I just...I just... ...A strong feeling of hot rebellion rises in my chest. I want to deny myself to all who know me. You know this feeling... You want to run. But instead, you choose to remain still and fall apart in an upright, stationary position. My running shoes will stay in their box. ...I'll close the door, and brew another pot of tea, while I stare at this indigo/black until fatigue envelops me like a velvet choker, then wait, for my own thoughts to suffocate in a quiet and dignified manner. 040807 ... uow . 040807 what's it to you? who go blather from