unhinged outward

the ribcage should do this when you breathe; anxiety attacks make the expansion of the breath small, limited. i first learned how to breathe in choir in high school. even though my father had tried to teach me three step diaphragmatic breathing when i was in grade school because i hyperventilated a lot as a child when i was upset.

i can feel it now, the onset of my fight or flight. when my body attacks my ability to breathe because of some ancient impulse to flee, translated into the modern disease of anxiety. what am i supposed to be fleeing? my genetic heritage is still fleeing the great terror of communism? the terror famine still terrorizing me almost one hundred years later...

i have to remind myself
from deep inside you
the belly goes out
the lungs fill up from the very bottom

i can feel the onset now
a few minutes of conscious breathing
calms it
unhinged arises 181128
what's it to you?
who go