timeline Toxic_Kisses What a typoriffic mess. In relation to: e_o_i_asks Apparently when tired the timeline of my life becomes vastly more malleable, Relatives can turn into funny redneck songs about being your own grandpa, and the R refuses to part with the S when I try to spell Andrew Lloyd Webber. Doubt any of this matters to anyone other then myself (LOOK SQUIRL!!!!) but this is annoying me to no end and I _MusT_ correct my most egregious mistakes from my answer in e_o_i_asks , this is not something that is merely optional to me. Timeline: Whole bunch of left out stuff . . . Ricky and Audras Apartments Baby sitter (first kiss) Moved . . . To this other apartment Jason No Jason Solitude + Wilson Phillips Jason + Brian And other far darker stuff Moved . . . To yet another other apartment Far darker things continue Angie Mathew + Peter Poetry Book Moved + Jason . . . to moms parents momentarily Moved . . . To Dads Parents _The Guys_ (flirting with polyandry) Bangles Moved . . . To Moms parents again Moved . . . To Woman’s homeless shelter First French Kiss with a guy Apple Pie Moved . . . To Jasons dads place Jason Bike Moved . . . Something controversial Moved . . . To Albuquerque NM homeless shelter Michel Cornrows Godfather . . . Other stuff . ~ So yea, again this is simply me fixing something that bugged me about first answer in e_o_i_asks . Also to describe that time as “darkest” is absolutely ridiculous. When I was living within that time period it felt Dark, but in comparison to what proceeded and followed this point in time was not dark it was just a lighter shade of gray, merely bleak when put into contrast with everything else. And yes there was indeed some happiness mixed in with that, but as I stated before I was unaware of that fact until years later. 140729 ... TK There were other moves between the ones I listed however I dident feel the need to put Every Last Detail so I just put the ones that seemed to matter most in retrospect. 140729 ... flowerock I would like to make a time line, of me of you and of us. 140730 ... tender square from may to july, there is a constant refrain that appears in my journals from this year: there’s this desire to move forward, whether it’s with work or with writing, or with life in general, but for some reason my guides keep telling me to “wait.” i didn’t know what i was waiting for. on july 21, i wrote, “i think things will change for me in the fall but i have to be patient, and i don’t want to rush into anything simply out of boredom. my guides are telling me to wait and sit it out for now.” * august 4, 2021 “i heard back from him today. he was profusely apologetic and he wrote me a really long message. i’m uncomfortable because i was actually excited to hear from him after i saw the email in my inbox. maybe i’ve been waiting all this time to see what he thinks of my book.” * in an entry from june 11, 2020, i wrote about being a “fangirl”: “there was this scene where he was playing guitar in his single bed and his hair was cascading down his shoulders and it’s a bit wavy. he also had on glasses with circular frames and he looked at the camera without any awkwardness. he had a very john lennon vibe about him.” and i wondered in those pages what it would’ve been like to be his ono. wished i had done things differently in high school or in my twenties; knew that if anything had happened between us during that period i would’ve wrecked him, and that he was too special for that. i reflected, “i feel guilty about my email, wondering if i did come on too strong because i didn’t sit on it before i sent it, but i read it again later and it was fine; i wasn’t inappropriate or anything but i was sharing.” * august 13, 2021 “i know the moment that it happened: it was that scene of him sitting in bed, the camera filming as he looked directly into the lens singing, and i wondered if i was watching a song being born. it was crystalized in that moment. i’ve spent so much of the last few days beating myself up about it, how could i when i’ve been through this before, have i learned nothing, blah, blah, blah, but i think there’s a lesson here that i’m trying to find my way though. what is this teaching me and why is it important?” august 15, 2021 “i keep thinking about timing. why did he write after a year with profuse apologies?” * my guides are still telling me to be patient, “don't_push_the_river.” i know i’m not supposed to make any sudden moves, that this a gradual adjustment; life needs to catch up to what has been perceived. this may take more time than i know, and the want is so sharp at times it takes my breath away. but knowing makes it easier; being with him every day and knowing that he’s there makes it bearable, keeps me focused on the long-term trajectory of things. i put my trust in the universe to show me the path when it’s time. 210924 what's it to you? who go blather from