redtree_innerviews_ever_dumbening redTree what do you like best about your new place? 080326 ... ever dumbening short answer: that it is mine alone long answer: forthcoming 080326 ... unhinged (hey j - sorry i was so snappy the other day; could use the cold and my cold as an excuse. not sure if it's a good one. i'm looking forward to my very own studio apartment sometime this summer myself) 080327 ... redTree what are you living for? what would you die for? what would you kill for? 080505 ... ever dumbening increasing my homework when i haven't finished my previous assignment--mean, but understandable. ~~~ first let me begin with a complete non-sequitur. i found a new ginger beer which perfectly balances my love of spice and sweet, made by "the ginger people." yum. ~~~ onward, then, to the long form of what i like best of my new place. it's pretty much the same answer, but with elaboration (and some hedging, of course). the times in my life where i unfolded the most—expressing, yielding, growing, learning—have come when i have lived alone. my second place in new orleans (a surf motel-like joint, two floors, u-shaped around a pool, with each apartment taking the name of a local bayou, mine appropriately being "des allemandes"), and the place in berkeley. these places were Home, anchors, jumping-off points, and always safe for retreat. clean, organized, well-appointed much of the time; sloppy when necessary. allowed to have my own rhythm at home, i was much more well-equipped to adopt the pulses and vibrations, whizzing and drifting by outside my door. living with others i spend so much time trying to carve out a peaceful spot that i neither find that spot nor have the time, energy, or spirit left to go out and enjoy (sometimes just survive) the world. i'm tolerant and patient, sometimes to a fault, but bad roommates—and i have had my share—erode my patience quickly. what brought me to my new place in san francisco ties this all together. the path of "let's create art" began in the berkeley place. and not long thereafter i was wanting a new place (live/work) and needing one, as my friend and landlord was selling the place. i stumbled onto the perfect spot. huge, high ceilings, large work shop, well-separated live space, good location, reasonably priced. i poured a great deal of time and money and energy into making it nice (and it's upside beyond that was even better). so despite having a roommate that made things unlivable for me, i stayed three years, throwing every bit of diplomacy i could at her—the place was that good. in february of 2007, i jumped. ripped out the 220v wiring, chopped up and hauled away the two 500 pound welding tables i had acquired, broke it all down, gave away a kiln, a pedestal grinder, pounds and pounds of clay, and just scurried away, cramming everything including my soul into my parents basement. step one of the great art experiment hadn't been a complete failure, but it sure hurt. and there was more to come. after leaving, i lived in five different places in thirteen months, all temporary, none ideal, none home. during that time, too, i decided to take on another great task, so i jumped ship from my crap job as well. good thing i didn't have a girlfriend at the time, or i would've likely dumped her like a five dollar bicycle with a bent rim. even after landing a job in san francisco, i still had a difficult and painful five-month apartment hunt. so here we are, with a scree-covered path behind, facing the next five-year-plan. i need to return to the things that allow me to survive the world, as that is for me not an effortless proposition. i am walking distance from countless bars, restaurants, clubs, theaters, bookstores, parks, hills, and neighborhoods of every flavor. i'm a five minute drive from my new welding studio. and somehow, living in the middle of all this, i happen to have scored a place where it is miraculously easy to park on the street—unheard of in most of this town. i just bought a new small sculpture last weekend. slowly, i'm sprinkling around art that i've bought and art that i've made and art i've been gifted, making home _home_ again. i was once accused by a lover that i am too concerned with what things mean or represent, rather than with what they simply are. i have tried, with greater and lesser success, to take her words to heart. nevertheless, the steps leading up to and out of this apartment have far too much weight for me simply to think of this as the place where i sleep. 080505 ... ever dumbening and now, i'd be honored to be the first to take a crack at your multi-skite innerview question. living for? fuck if i know. on shitty days it feels like i'm only here because if i ducked out there'd be a bunch of sad and pissed off people (that's supposed to be a good thing). i guess i tolerate the bullshit to make it to the next moment of grace. music, sex, food, art, earth and sky. die for? i don't feel so attached to any idea, cause, or person that i would die for it/them. i'm listening to a books on tape version of annie dillard's _for the time being_. she scales time to say, hey, chill the fuck out. kill for? man, if i could get a bowl of that yang rou pao mo from the place just off second ring road in beijing, i'd be willing to shoot a few senators. but really, i wonder what i'd do if pressed. over the last few years, since the fascistic hand has tightened it's grip on the constitution, i pondered at what point i would i be willing to arm myself and take to the streets saying "no." we're lazy, complacent, dulled by entertainment and fine cognac. we're ripe for the plucking. i think there is a point at which i'd lash out with life-ending violence, when the oppressive force became so great that self-expression was gone, but i don't know exactly where that line is or what it would look like, and whether i would kill another or just end my own, allowing the rest to sort it out. 080505 ... cr0wl thanks james for the open window...we need to have that long awaited phone chat...email me for the number. kzozula@yahoo.com 080506 ... redTree you have been chosen as the world's new super hero, but you can possess only one power that you must select from the following two choices... 1. the ability to fly 2. the ability to be invisible which one do you choose? why? what will you call yourself? 080704 ... redTree what are the top five events of your life this year? 081209 ... rt tell us more about the friend of ouroboros... 090219 what's it to you? who go blather from