high_school arinna is waiting and confusion and cliques and teeny-bop romance and broken hearts that heal in two hours or don't heal in two years and repitition and lowering your standards and pretending to learn and discovering yourself and anticipation and a sheltered life that is waiting to be shattered the moment you stand on your own and self-deprecation and self-mutilation and conformity and jealousy and superficial relationships and best friends and dreaming then worrying then giving up and unspoken words and melodramatic arguments and egotism and fear and crying for no reason at all and laughing at things even though you don't know why they are funny and hating your parents but understanding that they're real people and pretending that you have everything figured out and seeing far too many movies and having intellectual conversations in coffee shops and imagining that you know what it is to be intellectual and skipping days for concerts and showing up at the bell every morning and not having a parking space and not drinking in a town where the most of the kids get smashed every weekend and being labeled and being unsure and closing your eyes and wondering when it will all be over. and a lot more. or at least that is what i've seen and felt and heard around me. and even if i hate it, i don't know anything else. i don't know what comes next. 010310 ... johnny west The incredible nothingness that lurks just outside of high school is an incredibly enticing thing. 010310 ... spoons "Don't ask questions Have blind faith Surrender to the masses Give in to peer pressure Belong Follow the cool kids Relinquish your individuality Be a sheep Fear to be indifferent Graze with the herd Remain in line Never stray from the flock Avoid attracting attention Make no waves Wander not from the beaten path Embrace normality Act as expected to Aim for the status-quo Fly with the ducks not with the eagles Reach for the stars but don't leave your feet Support the system Achieve our aspirations Strive for the goals we have set for you Subscribe to our ideas Trust the propaganda Creativity is bad Divergence is an error Uniqueness is flawed Exterminate change Think inside the box Stay inside the yard Work within the boundaries Follow what we tell you to Your imagination is a disease Forfeit your feer will Behave predictably Your destiny is preordained Abandon hope Obey Cast away heretics and non-believers Resistance brings nothing but pain Give us your soul Welcome to FHS, Conformity at its finest" just another inmate 020320 ... thorn highschool starts in three weeks. i am not looking forward to it at all. 050815 ... SleepieCloud I made friends and enemies and i broke hearts and had mine broken. I made foolish mistakes and smart choices. I think it's easy to look back and say that i should have done this different or changed that. The truth is there's only one thing that I've brought with me from that mess of emotion and ignorance. If I had been wiser then, I'd be all alone now. I'm glad you're still here. 080707 what's it to you? who go blather from