push_it_all_out unhinged tonglen to_exhale 140809 ... Risen Of my mind. Of my heart. I am tired, so tired. Fewer than 10 days to go until I am put through hell. Again. I don't have the energy for the added hurt she causes. To be second best. Always. To be the back up when no one else is around. When she is bored. When someone else is letting her down. I'm a filler. The back up plan. Enabler. A fucking idiot. I'm so done with it. With all of this. I am tired of being worthless. Unwanted unless I have a use. Only the good, never the bad. This is a sick cycle. I do not want to be used any more. 140811 what's it to you? who go blather from