where_do_we_go_from_here 1man juggalo army what happened was horrible. we both know this. we both know that it was my fault. everybody that knows that we are no more knows this as well. where do we go from here? we had a huge fight. we probably woke up neighbors that weren't ours. i've made that drive a few times, but it's never seemed as long as it did that morning. i haven't listened to that cd since that car ride. where do we go from here? we seemed to be getting along on the school trip. it was weird, but it was better than it had been. i really tried to make it work plutonically, but you just had to throw everything back in my face. where do we go from here? we both know that my name wasn't any good any more, but i politely let you destroy me among your friends. i quietly sat in the background and watched everything we had disintegrate. you have shut me out of your life. i have done everything i can to purge you from mine. where do we go from here? we agreed to end it all for a while. months, years, forever? who knows. we left it open. but for the time, we said we wouldn't come around each other. compromises were offered, but you said it would be better not to. then you had to violate that. where do we go from here? sick of it all, i finally took some action. after i made my plan, i set it in motion. you seemed offended, as if i was overreacting. did you really expect me to just take all of your bullshit? after a brief discussion, we renewed our agreement to cut each other out. i left my end open if you ever changed your mind. where do we go from here? as i flip between the playoffs and [adult_swim], i'm looking through your blathes. i know you hated me doing it when we were together, so you'll probably loathe it this time. this should show that i still wonder about you. where do we go from here? at the risk of sounding conceited, it looks like you want to hear from me again. maybe i want to hear from you, but i know that will never happen. you need to figure out how you feel. you need to figure out what you want. you need to figure out how you want things to be. if you really do want to hear from me, open your damn phone. it's not that difficult. where do we go from here? i moved on. yes it was fast, but i am happy. i doubt that you have done this. you're probably still trying to deal. that's the impression that i've gotten from what i am still able to see. i saw you at the last party. everybody warned me that you had arrived and your friend who had a part in implementing my plan was even sociable. i talked to one of our mutual friends and she was understanding. i'm always thankful for her and her wisdom. where do we go from here? yes it was a almost a year, but let's really examine the whole thing. how did it all start? remember the tux blathe? remember you were mad at me about going with her? remember what you said about the picture i showed you? try to think about what i was going through then? you pushed me a little too hard. most of our time never felt completely right. often times i felt like i had to impress you, like i had to say just the right thing. towards the end, we agreed that we were both not priority 1. i just felt like i was lower in yours than you were in mine. were you really surprised? you obviously didn't trust me, so why the grand performance when you discovered the truth. where do we go from here? you say that you want an explanation. you say that you want an appology. well the truth is i did appologize. repeatedly. the night that it all started with all the shouting. try to remember how many times that i said i didn't have an explanation, but that i was sorry. sorry that i put you in that situation, sorry that you had to feel inferior, sorry that i did you wrong. i've given you plenty of your damn appologies and been honest more than fucking honest with you after the fight. let it go and move on or do something to get through these emotions. i know it sounds insensitive, but make a decision. you can't have your cake and eat it too. it's always a 2 way street and even though i am the one to blame, you can take steps too. it doesn't help if you say that you never want to see or hear from me again, but wish that i would call or drunk dial you. if you call, i'll listen. if you email, i'll read. the ball is in your court now. your move. where do you go from here? 050613 ... Sonya Have you ever read something and felt it was straight out of your own life? I can't say what I want to say here. It reaches me within. That is all I can say. 050613 ... unhinged i should turn my phone off so i can figure it out 050614 what's it to you? who go blather from