shit_my_tenant_has_done tender_square smoked inside the apartment on the first day when the lease prohibited it. 230404 ... tender_square on day two, when asked if they could refrain from smoking on the stoop because it was getting through the front door and into my apartment, the tenant became irate and walked away. then, they threw a five-minute screaming temper tantrum in their apartment, came down the stairs and sprayed cologne in front of my closed door while yelling, "this will smell better." 230404 ... tender_square on day four, called a locksmith and tried to change the apartment locks because they're paranoid that i'm entering their space illegally when i have not. 230404 ... tender_square on day six, clogged the toilet so badly it needed an auger to clear the jam. then, they were in contact with me five times (by telephone, by text, and, finally, in person) about offering to pay all or part of the plumbing bill after i repeatedly said it was my responsibility as the landlord to cover. 230407 ... tender_square on day seven, after i texted that next week would be a good time to discuss how things have gone in the first week, they wrote in response: “things went very well this week and i would imagine the next week and the next and the next will be just as good.” 230407 ... tender_square been on their best behaviour for the past week. and now my paralegal informs me that the ltb will likely look favourably on the tenant if our case has to go to hearing. wonderful. 230412 ... tender_square on day twelve, refused a notice i posted in an envelope under their door from my paralegal that outlined a potential deal to terminate or i would begin eviction. the written response back was "i am not going to read something so formal that i would have to rebuttal you in such a manner. the landlord and tenant lease agreement is good enough for me." on day fourteen, they texted me requesting a reference so that they may move into a different rental elsewhere. 230415 ... tender_square on day seventeen, swore and ranted for hours on end after my paralegal called. they hung up on her and have threatened to lawyer up, that they're not going anywhere, even though we were trying to work with them to leave. when the tenant passed my apartment door a few hours ago, they also yelled sarcastically and cuttingly, "honey, i'm home!" 230417 ... tender_square on day twenty-eight, yelled and swore at my new property manager. then, my tenant promptly went out and bought new furniture for the apartment. 230428 ... tender_square on day thirty one, had their paralegal contact my paralegal and accuse me of harassment, an unusually rigorous screening process, and discrimination because they have ptsd. the tenant also paid the rent to their paralegal, bypassing my property manager entirely, which is now essentially costing me two fees—one for my paralegal and one for my property manager—to collect and process rent. 230501 ... tender_square on day thirty-seven, decided to lie in the middle of the boulevard singing to himself. 230509 ... tender_square on day fifty-seven, sat his ass on the walkway at 9:30 pm and pulled out half of his solar lanterns and shoved them in a trash bag while high. 230528 ... tender_square on day fifty-nine, blasted both britney spears' "baby one more time" and ace of base's "the sign" from his car stereo before peeling out of his parking spot. 230529 ... tender_square on day sixty, played underwhelming instrumental piano music from his apartment that sounded like he was either running a day-spa or holding a funeral for several hours. (and he left it on when leaving the property. t'was strange indeed.) 230530 ... tender_square on day seventy-one, bought an electric scooter and rode around the neighbourhood in a black helmet and riding gloves. 230610 ... tender_square on day eighty-one, wrote "dust me" on a dresser in the shared hallway, and left a crumpled up paper towel on the stairs. additionally, he stole a screw out of the railing brace so that it was no longer functional or safe. he did not report his fuckery to the property manager. 230620 ... tender_square on day ninety-four, opened all of his car doors after i arrived back home from a three-day trip, and proceeded to blast music loud enough for me to hear with my windows closed, for more than an hour. 230703 ... tender_square on day one hundred and one, brought in empty boxes to his unit. he still has not signed a termination agreement. 230710 ... tender_square on day one hundred and four, sat out on the stoop with his new pimp cane (because, he claims, he's "a cripple"). "the girls are waiting for me," he said for the camera. "they're teaching me how to walk," as he fake limped away. 230713 ... tender_square on day one hundred and five, signed an early termination agreement that ends his lease on august 31, 2023. (six weeks to go.) 230715 ... tender_square on day one hundred and twenty four, fired his paralegal. 230802 ... tender_square on day one hundred and thirty, screamed that i was a fucking psychopath as he passed my door, for a piece of mail sent to him from the ltb and not by me. 230808 ... tender_square on day one hundred and thirty eight, inexplicably criticized me for not keeping my blinds all the way open when they were mostly open. 230816 ... tender_square on day one hundred and forty seven, left a large window wide open during a huge storm with torrential rains. the water soaked through the vinyl floor and into the lighting fixture above my bed, and into my sheets and mattress. when i pounded on the door saying it was an emergency and he was required to let me into inspect the damage, i was refused and had to call the police to escort me inside hours later. the baseboards are soaked. the floor will undoubtedly warp and mold. 230825 ... tender_square on day one hundred and fifty three, gave me back possession of the unit after leaving a pathetic swan song of destruction. he is gone. he is gone. he is gone. 230901 what's it to you? who go blather from