into_another_nightmare endless desire the long fall continues until she gracefully plummets onto the steal floor. for a moment, she reminds herself simply of Alice in Wonderland falling through the sky. but then she remembers the seriousness of the situation and boosts her wounded knees and tattered thighs off the damp steel floor. unlike the floor, she is surrounded in a colourful room decorated with pinks and yellows, ribbons and bows. normally, she'd gag, but today she was merely curious and slightly puzzled by her surroundings. "how did i get here?" the room is surrounded in mirrors, all shapes and sizes. tall, short, fat, long. square, circle, oval. rising to her feet, she stands in front of each systematically. the mirrors are decorated with elaborate gold designs of leaves, squares, beasts, women. flowers, children, clouds. she examines her body in each, admiring some things. cursing at others. fixing her hair. tending her bruises. "How Can You Look At Yourself?" she turns abruptly. . . "who's there?" clenching her fists together in fear. alert. remembering that she isn't suppose to be here at all. "You Heard Me." A voice much deeper booms from the other side of the decorated room. "hello?" quivering voice. what's going on? "Look At Yourself." A female voice squeaks. "huh?" she turns. "How Can You Live With IT?" The woman spoke again. "where are you?" "Over Here" Growls Another. "where? i can't see you." "All Around." "damnit i don't have time for games. im ready to go. HOW THE HELL DO YOU GET OUT OF THIS PLACE?" she is more and more frustrated, searching for the door. "You Don't Need A Door, You Need A Diet" Whispers another voice. Others laugh at the joke. "what?" "Oh Nothing." "Look In The Mirror." she steps to an oval shaped mirror, obdiently. the mirrors. the voices. "Look At Yourself." The woman says. "Satisfied?" Asks a younger voice. she pauses and says nothing. "We Didn't Think So." Says the loud man, again. "For Good Reason." Whispers an old woman At the other end of the room. are they behind the mirrors? "To Save Us All A Lot Of Time You Are Marvelously Unattractive." she hadn't been listening. she hears him now. "what?" rude. "Oh Surprised?" Says the young man. "Did Your Daddy Tell You You Where Pretty?" He laughs. They all laugh. At her. This is their joke. "We Didn't Mean To Bust Your Bubble." Says The Woman through laughs. "leave me alone." "Look At Yourself" Whispers the quiet man. she turns to the mirrors. the mirrors. this room and the mirrors. the people the voices. how did i get here? "Let Me Help You." her imperfections are so clear. she turns away, only to face another. "You See? We are Everywhere. Here To Show You Who You Are." we? mirrors. she's taken back. "leave me alone." They laugh. "No Afraid Not." Says the woman with The Squeaky voice. "We Really Would Prefer To, Seeing As You Are Such A Hideious Creature, But. . ." Another interupts: ". . .But Our Job Is To Help You Realize This For Yourself." "realize what? i don't care what you think." "You Are Worthless." why are they saying this? "LEAVE ME ALONE!" why is she shouting? because they are speaking the truth. "Just Look" "no" "Oh But You Want To. . ." "no i REALLY don't." she turns away. tears form in her eyes and her nose begins to sting. she shuts them. they can't see her tears. no they mustn't see her tears. "You Don't Have Much Of Choice." She is slightly angery. "Look At Yourself! Must we Make Begin A List?" silence. "Or We Could Just Show You What Others Think. . ." Laughs the old woman. "Oh Yes, Lets." images flash through the mirrors. haunted ones pushed to the back of her mind. terrible things. horrible things. she hears wind. "Look. You Can't Say You Don't Agree. We Know You Do. Let Go Of Your Pride. Do Something Right." "stop. i don't care what you think." "Oh But You Do!" Anger. "YOU WANT EVERYONE TO LIKE YOU." The booming voices howls. she covers her ears. there is so much noise. it's all so loud. they all talk at once. in whispers. everywhere she turns, she sees her own reflection-- she can't even meet her own standards. she can't even look at herself. "STOP STOP. . ." she drops to her knees. words, screaming, voices, music. lost, alone, desperate. "You Are Worthless" "You Deserve Nothing" "No One Loves You" "You Need To Die" "Yes, Do Everyone A Favor" "Think Of Someone Besides Yourself" "We Even Hate You" "HaHaHa Even the Mirrors Hate You." she looks around. is the room spinning? so many tears fill her eyes she can barely make out the mirrors anymore. she closes them and screams. calls for help. "No One Is Coming To Your Rescue Little Girl. Daddy's Ugly Little Girl." she drops to her knees and cries on the floor. "im sorry. I AM SO SORRY." "FOR WHAT?!" They shout. "TELL US." "im so sorry. i never meant to be so. . .so" she's lost herself. the words are gone. and on she falls, into another nightmare. 031130 ... des constructive criticism? 031130 what's it to you? who go blather from