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epitome of incomprehensibility
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I should be in bed, but I just watched this movie and it was amaaaazing.
Maybe I started with lowered expectations because the title gave off too many "indie movie trying to be cute" vibes. The "polar bear" relates to a kid's cute remark, yes, but it's an offhand and genuine moment. Still, I would drop the "infinitely."
But that's just me. I'm afraid of infinity and suspicious of adverbs.
But yes. The acting is emotionally nuanced and naturalistic. Dialogue snappier than in real life, but it meshes with the rhythm of the editing, which showcases key moments, moving things along without being rushed. And the whole situation seemed so real, where there's no perfect decision, perfect action. You're always giving something up.
Basically, a father is taking care of his two daughters while his wife is going to business school in another city. This is set in the late 70s, so some neighbours etc. are surprised at the seeming defiance of gender roles, making both positive and negative remarks about that. For the mom, it's more practical than political: she wants to get a better-paying job so her kids can live better. For the dad, it's personal: after he had a nervous breakdown in a manic episode, he wants to prove that he can be a responsible parent. He's always had trouble keeping regular jobs, even though he's smart and talented in lots of mechanical and crafty ways. It's not clear which part of that is mental illness and which belongs to his overall personality, and this rings true too.
My next musings might be a bit spoiler-y as well as personal, so I'll put them after some dots.
...
Post-dots. Yes. I was worried that he'd have a big breakdown after drinking too much, as the movie shows him doing more than once. That's based on experience; a friend of my dad's has bipolar disorder and when he gets into alcohol, it always leads or contributes to a downward spiral. He's not physically violent, but belligerent and loud and threatening. He had his rescue dog taken away from him once because his neighbours were afraid he'd use the poor animal to attack them.
Anyway, about this real-life person, I must confess I get a bit exasperated whenever I hear of a relapse. I tell my dad, "Why are you helping V. if he won't get his shit together?" ...maybe not in those exact words. Like, if he knows his drinking is going to get out of control, why not refuse to start in the first place? I'm not saying addiction is easy to solve, but both Dad and I think he could do better to prod out the underlying causes. His personally was always sort of an arrogant one. Maybe he feels he can do it all himself, and that's the problem.
Or maybe I'm blaming his attitude and choices because I don't want say mental illness makes you bad. I still don't think it does. It could make you more difficult to get along with in some ways. It could make things more difficult for you. But treating it as something that automatically makes people bad and irresponsible only exacerbates discrimination. A girl in my German class (in immer_immersion) was treated like shit because of her borderline personality disorder and it wasn't fair. Even if her on-and-off paranoia and irresponsible drinking (drinking again) caused a headache for the teachers, that was no excuse for making her seem like a dangerous and manipulative person. Yes, she also could have been more responsible. People are complicated (obviously).
Anyway, I don't think the movie depiction of his illness is overly optimistic. I think it's just that everyone's mind chemistry is a little different and won't react to the same substances the same way. That said, I kind of wish alcohol had never been invented (but then I've always liked the taste of unfermented sugars better).
So, yeah, the movie character may be fucking up his health, but it doesn't lead to him spiraling out of control except in small, contained ways. (Can you be out of control in a contained way?) The alcoholism is something that's worked around rather than gotten rid of, but he still manages to be a present and loving parent a large amount of the time.
And the kids can be unfair as well as unexpectedly responsible and mature. They're not just innocent blobs of humanity. Neither are they unappreciative brats. The acting brings this across, especially in the case of the older child. Amazing all around.
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250325
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