addiction luck is green "Addicts are more tolerant than non_addicts of cold, fatigue, and discomfort. They have a strong resistance amounting to virtual immunity to rhemus, coughs, consumption, and other respiratory complaints. On the other hand, they are incapacitated if the opium supply is cut off." 010714 ... three imaginary birds and i'm crying for yesterday and the tap drips under the strip-light 010714 ... kyla I am free, and the universe is colder and deader than ever. 010717 ... namae I don't know who did it, but the image linked in my mind to this word is a drawing I saw once of some generic cutesy rabbit type tightening a cord around one arm with his teeth, holding a syringe, in which floated the corpse (?) of his Good Conscience angel-bunny, in the other hand, while his Bad Conscience demon-bunny looked on from one shoulder, grinning approvingly. 010730 ... pilgrim Sounds a little like something by R. Crumb. Something from Fritz the Cat, Or Zap comix 010731 ... blown cherry My addiction to you only seems to worsen. I feel like I need to have some of you around all the time. "The thought of having to be without you, I can't breathe" Not my line, I know, but the whole damn speech (bad script and all) was ripped straight out of my chest. You really have no idea how bad this is. 020529 ... birdmad even after all these years without i still crave it the warm opiate vapor seeping into my lungs, the bliss coursing through my blood feeling like i had attained some glimpse of nirvana while i was still alive to recognize it flying by clinging to the dragon's tail 020530 ... silentbob i just keep pushing go 030312 ... nr you were such a good listener to the point where you'd ask about things i almost hadn't even realized i'd said. i'd throw something away as an aside and you'd find it interesting and ask about it. you were so insightful and knew me so well that you'd pick up on moods i was in and ask about them, and i'd resign myself to answering even if i'd planned on keeping things in. i wasn't used to mattering so much to someone who mattered so much to me. but there's a line between finding what you're looking for and finding who you want to depend on to fill the void of your lives. when they intersect, it makes you think about these things years later. 221118 ... nr when someone you care about understands you and thinks you're great the way you are, how is it possible not to get addicted? 221118 ... tender_square he was 46. he passed suddenly, and we all know what that means at that age. he used to be married to my cousin; she divorced him after a work injury led to back surgery led to painkillers and an addiction to said pills. after, he moved onto his parents property and lived in a trailer. when his mother would babysit his two young girls, she'd make them enter his house on wheels before she did, knowing full well what her son was into. now those girls are teens, and they've just lost their birth father in a traumatic way. his family has asked for donations to be made to crossroads, a local facility that helps with addiction and anger management issues. maybe those funds can help someone else in need find a different outcome. 221229 ... e_o_i I'm sorry, tender_square. That must have been awful. Especially for those children. (what I mean to write here but accidentally pasted in sugar_addiction) 221230 ... tender_square thanks e_o_i. i'm not sure what kind of relationship my cousins had with their dad; their parents have been divorced since they were quite young, and he had longstanding issues. it's still horrible regardless, and i worry about the effects it will have on their family. 230101 ... nr do you really like something or are you just chasing the dopamine high? is there a middle ground? is that ever enough? 230711 what's it to you? who go blather from