our_lives_in_a_suitcase crowl he opened his suitcase that contained his life and set the minor collection of contents upon the bed in this fugitive motel. costumes. disguises. books that contained words in a language he made up. that was it. 040301 ... nomme "...fugitive motel..." likes this very much 040302 ... crOwl i'm leaving them all in the subaru until i get back, even the cooler, there's still ice in it. 040820 ... unhinged sand, souvenirs, a wet bathing suit 040821 ... once again And there were her black jeans, and that shirt you could see through. And one set of jammies ((an ASU SunDevils shirt older then her)) Her copy of High Fidelity, a Weakerthans CD. Three tattered note books with stained and torn pages... and one extra post for the hole in her tongue. And there in the bottom a bag with a number and one single quarter... for emergencies only. 040822 ... aM i DiStUrBeD? She sat down before the bed, on the little stool in front of the mirror. She had been here so many times before. But was this the answer? Would all the problems be gone? She remembered how he looked at her when he left for work. She wondered if he would ever really feel anything. Like water on a stone, The light breeze past a leaf. Soon to be forgotten, The imprint elapsed. Looking down at the brown box that lay on the bed. The white sheets she had dressed just an hour before. She realised that she had to do this. Walk away and never turn back. All she had with her was hers, and would be forever. Her memory, reflections and deliberations. Her very life in a suitcase. 040905 ... cripw/adream TRAVELING She was sick of today, how it was the same as yesterday and all the days before. She was tired of the monotony of time and that no memories stayed as it passed. She was sick of time. She wanted to go where things happened fast, pushing and shoving in the line of events. Not the all-consuming NOW that existed here. She needed to move through time instead of with it. Before she lost this nerve she didn't know she had, she drove to the gray apartment her body lived in and got out of the gray car she had rented for a lifetime. She went up the shiny gray stairs and entered her division, the industrial white walls seemed blinding to her soft gray eyes. She entered a secret door and packed up her life. it only took a minute. As she came out of the unknown room, the crinkling paper that accompanied her shuffling step was not the only difference. She seemed calmer, solidified, as if unseen things reassured her. Maybe they did. She took a deep breath and locked the secret door, hiding it forever. Without blinking, she tied the hood of her sweatshirt that had faded with the gray times and walked out the open apartment door. She stood on the gray sidewalk, got in the car, and drove away from time. _______________________________________ A girl sits in the driver's seat of her car, the gaslight shining bright in the city-dark of her surroundings. Beside her sits a paper bag. It contains the key to her mind, a vial of tears, and her shriveled-up heart. 041020 ... unhinged packing myself into a suitcase again to come home to you i cannot wait to see you smile, eat you up 041020 ... nom if i had a car i'd drive somewhere 060702 what's it to you? who go blather from