to_who_can_relate cr0wl it's the moon, the sun, the sky it's you flat on your back it's the stars, the trees, the water it's you spinning with arms straight out it's the flowers, the birds, the clouds it's you with both feet off the ground. i've been waiting for this moment all my life. 090611 ... auburn it's closing your eyes to the sunlight so when you open them all of the greens and blues 'pop'. it's meditating in the dark and finding the light that only comes from within. it's holding your breath so you can hear the heart beat more clearly. it's choosing what's real and living the dream. it's crying in the shower and finding peace. 090618 ... auburn it's a cry in your heart that you won't let out. it's incapacitating fear. it's going, going, going without a direction. it's crawling up your spine in waves of discomfort. it's a piercing silence you forgot to enjoy because it already left you hopeless. it's finding hope. even when you thought there was none. 091103 ... unhinged i woke up recently and realized that i am happy. that essentially, inside me, there is happiness. when my_depression_is_a_hole_in_the_ground i forget that; that there was a time when i didn't even know that. for years i couldn't tell who i really was. but i have rediscovered myself lately. i like this person i am now. because of him. i remembered who i really am because of him. even though i can't talk to him anymore, i still have that. i wish i could tell him that. that he made me remember what happiness is. 091104 ... cr0wl i like her too. 091104 ... auburn it's repeating patterns but refusing to fall apart. it's staring at a ceiling fan trying to distinguish the lines within the blur. it's recognizing moments as inspiration. it's silence, it's absence, it's breath-giving. it's going to find you. 100318 ... unhinged then i gave it all to someone who couldn't give me any back. curse/story of my life. wonder when i'll be able to rewrite that. 100319 ... auburn it's a little too much at times. it's a lot more than enough. it's a long way away. it's a link between you and I. 101029 ... auburn it's being gentle with yourself. it's not walking away. 110629 ... lostgirl you squeezed your eyes shut i didn't miss the tears that found their way out the sides of both closed lids your mascara didn't make it and i knew just how you were feeling 110629 ... unhinged but sometimes the only thing left to do for yourself is to walk away i can't take care of you if you won't take care of yourself 110701 ... leif I don't want what I wanted. And I'm going to be crucified for it. 120628 ... styx when breathing requires conscious effort, perhaps its time for a change 120628 ... unhinged i left. he had to face the inevitable consequences of his actions. i was oh so tired of being the fall back plan. i tried to move on, up, out. but eventually life pulled me back to him. we talk almost every day. even though at this time last year i swore i would never say another word. he's getting better. i'm getting worse. meeting somewhere in the middle. 120628 ... leif I'm ready to change everything. 120727 ... no reason where are you? 120727 ... leif Is that a direct question? 120727 ... no reason nope! 120727 ... leif It's taking baby steps--wobbly, hesitant, inconsistently moving. And it's growing through struggle--failure, mistakes, and obstacles. 130110 ... leif it's freckles that wait until summer's first kiss to make constellations out of faces. it's a tattoo monument to a relationship that had to end. it's finding peace when you learn that listening far exceeds expressing. 130731 ... unhinged . 130801 ... leif it's waiting 4.5 billion years to finally exhale. it's tears that are tidal waves inside the chest wall. it's playing the songs on repeat no matter who else is in the room. 140621 ... leif it's waiting 4.5 billion years to finally exhale. it's tears that are tidal waves inside the chest wall. it's playing the songs on repeat no matter who else is in the room. 140621 what's it to you? who go blather from