goodbye's blown cherry If every goodbye were as sweet as last nights', I think I could be happy... 020531 ... blue star I just said goodbye to the people that I spent 4 years of my life with. And I haven't cried yet. But I'm pretty sure I will.. We had this awesome party... it was better than I ever expected it to be... but everyone was so busy that no one took time... I think there's gonna be a lot of crying alone in the night. I have wanted to move on so much... I know that it's probably not going to matter to me that much in a few years... But I never want to say goodbye... 020601 ... angie I never really got to say goodbye to Jessica. I visited her in the hospital...but that was a couple weeks ago. She died last night. Peacefully, in her sleep she died. Her parents were there...and she died. She was in so much pain. But she was so young. Too young. I hope she is watching down on us all. Remembering all the good times, while she hopes that we do the same. Goodbye Jessica. You are loved. You will be missed. I hope you have eternal peace. 020609 ... psychobabe one of the most hard and trying things to do in someones life. Saying goodbye that is.. -goodbye to my inner child, who's left my body and gone with the other lost child innosence -goodbye to my sence of reality, all thats left is to fall into an abiss -goodbye to my sence of love, being constantly hurt, let down, left behind...i'm through pinning my heart on my sleeve, and having it ripped down. -goodbye to my happiness..days seem long and nights seem longer. Constant drudgery..pain..emotionless body.. -goodbye to all those kisses i gave to you. Each ment so much to me but seemed so little to you. -goodbye young age, and future plans. *Sigh* cant seem to go on and live like this. -goodbye to my mind. Sitting in the backyard on a warm summers night, watching the sunset above the horizon and the sky turn to a dark starlite black...mind traveling a thousand miles and hour thinking of what could be... ...goodbye 020723 ... tender_square “i know this sounds bad,” amanda began, “but it needed to be sally, she’s my baby.” for weeks, amanda had been fearing the worst, after her fingers found a lump under the rib cage of her sixteen-year-old calico. the tumor was malignant. the vet could not operate; the body would attack that large of a mass being cut away. he presented three options but did not recommend a specific course of action, leaving the choice to amanda: 1. euthanasia. 2. a series of steroids. 3. bloodwork to determine what the life expectancy could be. “what was the point in paying for a test to tell me she didn’t have much time left?” sally had lost control of her bowels three times that morning. the x-rays revealed empty intestines; no food for the past 24- to 48-hours, though it appeared she had been grazing. “a friend, a vet tech, told me that the steroids wouldn’t do anything for the prognosis, that they were more to prepare me for what was inevitable. i appreciated that she was upfront with me, given how emotional i was,” amanda said. her eyes were red-rimmed. she didn’t want the procedure to happen in her home; she couldn’t envision a good space to say goodbye to sally and she didn’t want to be reminded of her death later on. it was bad enough that sally was being put to sleep sixteen years to the day that she was born, hours after amanda received the confirmation her soul intuited. “sally was never a lap cat. she’d stay with you for a couple of minutes and then preferred to sit beside you, always close. at the vet’s, they took me into a room and the tech brought sally to my lap and she stayed there. they gave her sedatives; that almost made it worse—her eyes were open but they were vacant. it almost seemed like she was already gone, except for her breathing.” “they took her away and put in a catheter and when they came back, she was on a white tray decorated with flowers. and i thought, ‘i’m at a funeral,’ and not long after she was gone.” “i’m heartbroken,” amanda said as i held her. “i don’t know how to do this.” 221007 what's it to you? who go blather from