dream060127 flux damned ass dream. first i've had in months that i can remember in any sort of detail. we're at "cz", which seems more like a single story 1970's era house in suburbia, somewhere. flat, but still large-ish, shag carpeting, glitter in the paint on the walls, brown/yellow hues for tripper safety. a collection of people gather, watching a tv in one room. alcohol is brought in, and people start to get drunk, except me. it's the old crew, john, kelly, andrei, et al.. some sort of discussion about which girls i've slept with, and that i nearly slept with kelly. everyone sprawled out on the floor, warm, intimate. then we're moving, going to some sort of enormous event, party, something, whatnot. a few square blocks of city, which seems very familiar. past dreams are flowing together. the party was set a few blocks from an apartment i remember from another dream (second floor, above an office or a laundromat, something difficult with a girl happened there, yellow). the city was also stop on the way in a third dream, which resulted in driving through progressively darker and narrower country roads, trees creeping in from all sides, making it progressively more and more difficult to see other cars. a creek by this road was, in turn, a setting for a fourth dream, which involved digging through the creek bed looking for something, running and jumping enormous distances. back to the party. i can't really describe it that well, it has faded a bit. the people are really packed in, a lawn, a platform, someone announcing something. a guy wearing a white bandana. the speaker at the top of a stacked platform, against the sky. something profoundly.. roman, maybe, about the whole scene. and then we're off, to another subsection of the party. something involving.. an enormous partially underground building, incredibly rich, but the base of many subversive activities. it is a giant black cube. we enter through the top, going down a sort of stairwell. the stairs and walls are black, and at the bottom of each flight, it opens into progressively larger and larger enclosed volumes. we eventually got down to the bottom. inside was a enormous cubic room, maybe 30 stories tall, completely open except the stairwell as an incredibly skinny black pyramid stretching up to the ceiling. the floor is littered with cushions, people milling about, sipping cocktails, all young, all attractive. the group i came with separates at this point, and things grow fuzzy again. then, i realize i need to go back up and fetch my bag, which i think i left somewhere in the party up top. i want my camera. a woman, perhaps seeing me staring unhappily at the enormous structure through which we entered, points me towards an elevator in one corner of the room. it's old, and strangely built. she opens the door for me. i suddenly feel like i've been intruding at this party the whole time, that maybe i wasn't officially invited. it's not too strong a feeling, though. inside the elevator is a toilet, so guests can use the bathroom on the way up. genius, i think! except i don't need to go, and i seem to have lost my shoes somewhere along the way. there's some amount of urine on the floor. i try to brace myself between the walls to prevent stepping in it, but the elevator starts to rise, and i realize it's of the olden style, without a front door. but the trip is short. then i'm up above ground then, where the party seems to have died down. i go to where i thought i left my bag, and then realize i didn't bring it at all. it's back home. that's probably for the best, because someone could have walked off with it.. i start to wander through the remains of the party. the streets have been re-opened to traffic. i encounter a bunch of people dressed as care bears who are all on drugs, who try to get me to join them. i shake my head and keep walking. 060127 ... flux further analysis. i wake, feeling like i've missed out on something, by not being able to return to the cube space. i've noticed that i often feel this same thing when i wake from dreams. a sort of anxiety over incompletion. the cube space could be representative of so many things. finely designated inside and outside. the inside being hollow, and yet feeling more "open". the cleanliness of whole space, except the elevator hidden over in one corner. the discontinuity between of the structure's presence at street level, and entrances that are 30 stories off the ground, and that there is never any narrative involved in getting to or from these entrances. 060129 what's it to you? who go blather from