i_searched_my_notes_for_the_word_down warmthofrelease universal truth number one: people usually don't like to be looked down on universal truth number two: it's important to be kind and friendly when you can (September 2019) my mind was constructed under very noisy very stressful conditions and that noise has stayed with me fear is like a spill that's what it does as you stare over your eyes down your head and covering til it coats you open your eyes and you're something new after fear is done something is born (April 2015) (Greeting Card Suicide Note) and will you feel ashamed will you feel ashamed when you shout down into my grave how neither one of us was good enough for me (April 2015) (Night In Motion) (melodic) you're believing the horrors you want to believe this is less complicated than you make it out to be this can boil down to dos and don'ts pay your dues respect your opponent protect_yourself_at_all_times don't let your guard down for a moment (September 2019) and when the dream becomes the disease it will do as it please ease and won't let you down or alone (December 2016) the eagle flies butterflies down my throat too tight to mention she says fucking him makes her love me more and I swear I can believe her but it won't relieve the tension (June 2019) Calm down. Slow down. Observe the depth of quietude. Enjoy the smallness of peace. Watch the wind. (August 2015) and now I can see the justice of lies when it's the truth that divides it took the edge of occam's razor to cut me down to size (August 2019) (I believe this refers to the_thrilla_in_manila) you were sent as gods to fight a god's fight and humanity dragged you back down to a place where you didn't belong and where you would never be the same (March 2015) (In retrospect of failure) 1. tie me down (February 2020) 250630 ... warmthofrelease (I went further_down) I've been making tea in place of lighting candles I've been making bets in place of using bicycle handles and I've been writing it down and I've been giving up and I've been crossing myself out and giving up on giving up and when I finally cry I'm afraid it won't be for help (March 2015) couldn't tell at a glance leaving it down to games of chance a victim or a criminal of circumstance (December 2020) what's the use in straightening out just to go down a path that's crooked (January 2022) profundity is cheap wisdom is subtle whiskey is decent make it a double I'm not satisfied whether in or out of trouble I'm burning down houses and blowing spit bubbles (September 2015) oh sweet misery like the weather down no sympathy (November 2015) animosity flowed like lava now it's hardened on hallowed ground trusting my better judgment breaking off the connection don't cheat yourself or your feelings when you're hurt by the rejection reflection helping to question the moral center of myself deep down I understand I don't really wanna help deep down I understand anymore I don't wanna help deep down I understand I don't want to give or receive help (January 2022) (Trafalgar) 3AM is spilling down softly on the field behind L.H. Elementary most of the starts can't be seen from the city the humming glow of streetlights fogs out the twinkling I'm going to drive by her house at least three times tonight I want to sit beneath her window and wait for her to cry but even if she was there she'd have nothing to be sad about and I can't just cry for myself even when I should (April 2016) (another denouement, unserious) "Big Elephant Slowly Chopping a Train Down" (December 2020) 250702 what's it to you? who go blather from