carnal_carnival lotuseater i went to the carnival last night. the stereotypical carnies, old women smoking cigarettes and asking in the mannish hoarse voice *two throws for a dollar* surreal, in a very real way. old friends walking on the muddy ground, the smell of vomit, caramel, and funnel cakes slightly overpowers the smell of humanity. or perhaps that is the smell of humanity and it was overpowering the smell of filthy redneck joy. new friends, slightly annoying fellow i had never seen before. very polite, follows stoner etiquette precisely. wander around, slightly dazed and entertained. the two girls i had gone there to meet had finally shown up, they wanted me to go to a party with them. after rides were ridden, of coarse. two stupid highschoolers almost fight in front of me. i sit down, in hopes of a free show, but am rewarded with only stupid insults being shouted back and forth. point and laugh. i find myself at shawns house, i have met him only like once before. daniel is there, joe is there, shelly and aliana are there, seth is there. and a few other people i do not know. shawns mother awakens and is slightly angry. *why are all these people here* *i dont know, we just started drinkin and people started showin up* the great transfer. mike shows up, says we can go to his house. right on. ten minutes later, in an apartment i have never been in before, talking to people i have only met once before. shots. ice-cold cheap-ass whiskey and vodka. *you should go and make out with my friend* *hahaha, what?* the hours pass. i had called my mother at about 11, said i would hang out a bit after the carnival. i look at a clock, it says about 2:30. fuckit, im having fun. wander back and forth between the kitchen and the living room, observing the phenomena that occurs frequently at these types of situations: an almost entirely different vibe and seeming different party just in the other room. absorbing amusing things said by entoxicated friendly folks. its about 4:30. everyone says "what the fuck? how did it get to be after four?" joe and steven need rides home. i give them rides home and return to my own house. its five in the morning. i go downstairs, throw off the clothes and turn on a movie. 12 monkeys. watch it for about half an hour and then finally crash. 11:30 a.m. i have been lying in bed, just relaxing in the soft blankets for about an hour. i hear footseps approach. "alex, i need you to wake up." its my mother. "hmm? why?" "im having a crisis." "okay, ill be up in a sec." ran out of propane, no heat/hot water/stove. dad's been gone for about a week now. i havent seen him in days. the police are watching my house. my mom wants me to go downstairs and "clean up," meaning hide the bong(s). and i just want a cigarette. 040502 ... crOwl right on. 040502 ... PeeT dig it. 120804 what's it to you? who go blather from