addict fallen still it taunts me after all these years i want it my mouth waters at the thought even after my countless attempts to let it go even after all my efforts to rid myself of the desire i pierce my flesh in various ways....adorning myself with shiny new toys.....i pierce myself...but no...this needle doesn't produce quite the same effect i cut through the layers of my skin....wishing to feel something....anything....i feel the warm trickle of my blood.....i see the colours....i even taste my own bleeding heart....but no that isn't it....not the right colours i walk across fire....feelling the coals....ashen...under my feet....and it still does not go away i immerse myself in lust.....touching.....writhing with new lovers at a whim....every single night it could be somebody new.....i could share my bed....share myself...with her...or with him....and even though this is savory....no...this is not it i indulge in the finest foods and drink....anything to tantalize my taste buds....and it is not enough and this...is my sweet torment...never to be fully satisfied.....never to fully be given into the cool rush of heat staring down the barrel of the gun begging for more never to receive 010213 ... unhinged she was right it's just so hard to be pissed off when the room is spinning when your mind doesn't focus on the words in the first place the only thoughts surfacing boy i'm fucked up 010404 ... peyton Breathe it in and breathe it out And pass it on, it's almost out We're so creative, so much more We're high above but on the floor It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive If you don't have it you're on the other side The deeper you stick it in your vein The deeper the thoughts, there's no more pain I'm in heaven, I'm a god I'm everywhere, I feel so hot It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive If you don't have it you're on the other side I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie) It's over now, I'm cold, alone I'm just a person on my own Nothing means a thing to me (Nothing means a thing to me) It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive If you don't have it you're on the other side I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie) Free me, leave me Watch me as I'm going down Free me, see me Look at me, I'm falling in.. I'm falling. It is not a habit, it is cool I feel alive I feel... It is not a habit, it is cool I feel alive It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive If you don't have it you're on the other side I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie) I'm not an addict... I am an addict. 020425 ... jim_starks they say i am. i don't agree. it's a choice, not something i have to do. i just choose to do it all the time. 020427 ... blamethesky what you pretend to be. so you can be interesting. 020427 ... unhinged he woke up and mumbled "where's the bowl?" "no one was talking about bowls dude." "yeah yeah, yeah you were. i heard someone say something about a bowl and weed." "well, it's coming dude. just lay back down for a few minutes." 020428 ... lulie D. hasn't had any in over two weeks. I think she has kicked her addiction to tobacco. 020429 ... psychobabe an addict to him, his thoughts that provoke me. an addict to his eyes, that draw me deeper the harder i look. an addict to his touch that makes me shiver. an addict to myself for letting the drugz take hold. an addict to caffeine such a lovely taste. an addict to love, want it more than i want to feel it. an addict to acceptance wanting to belong. an addict to my parents will, trying to live up to their expectations. an addict to society, trying to hide from the public eye. an addict to ciggarettes, ooh i will never quit. an addict to pain killers, blocking out the pain of reality. an addict to jealousy, how i fucking hate the monster that comes out. an addict to my mind, do i let it control me or let my heart? an addict to my peers, cant live up to their standards. an addict to work, more work, no play, more money. an addict to pot, it gets worse every day. NOT an addict to meth, thank god. 030716 ... guitar_freak yea for meetings 030804 what's it to you? who go blather from