caffeine fargo i cannot believe this shit is legal. i am only halfway through this cup of mocha and i feel like i could fully clean seven houses. how do people chug this shit down and sit in a cubicle for hours? this makes me want to go for a hike or just be outside. i feel anxiety. i feel trapped. i want to hang on to the helicopter and float away. i am retreating within myself. i can feel myself losing control. my hands are clammy and my brain is full of grooves. this is not cool. caffeine is the worst drug i've ever done. why didn't i think about this before i chugged down all this paranoia machine juice? i want to pull all my hair out or go tap dancing. i want a time machine to take me back to the 80s. i want to go to a rock n roll show and headbang. i need something to slow me down. i forget what slow is. everything is bathed in golden light; but it's not warming, it's frightening 101231 ... unhinged i did the dishes, scrubbed the kitchen sink, the cutting board, the counter, the stove, the outside of the fridge, and the top of the microwave. and some of the kitchen floor. i vaccumed my yoga carpet. i cleaned the bathroom sink, mirror, and toilet. i made a strong pot of coffee and ended up cleaning more in an hour than i did the rest of the month. 101231 ... h|s|g The amount of coffee I've had in the first five days of visiting my parents just now is... disturbing. 101231 ... unhinged i got a lb of my absolute favorite beans today for free (my punchcard was full) tomorrow morning is going to rock 110222 ... no reason easier to give up than i'd thought and am not as tired as i'd thought i'd be though still not "well" 110224 ... lg i'm completely addicted...get a wicked headache without it. ah, french roast. (glad to hear you're feeling a little better n_r.) 110224 ... raze it's never done to me what it seems to do to most. morning coffee won't wake me up, but it'll make the sleep code harder to crack later on. 141218 what's it to you? who go blather from