scared
Jarec I don't think that I have ever been this scared.... 020916
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Sonya of the evil headless chickens! 020916
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distorted tendencies Because this time, if it hurts, I'll never heal.. Because this time is different. 020917
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celestial of so much

that ill lose you
that i wont treat you well enough
that i wont love you well enough
that my grandmother will die soon
that i wont graduate
that ill fail these fucking math classes
that one day you will not be able to see me
that when you can no longer see the physical me you will lose interest and leave me because im really not that great
that ill break my goddamn promises to you and just die
that ill go to hell if i die because i dont love jesus as much as i used to pretend to because im not even sure he exists
that youll be angry once you read that email i sent you but FUCK i was angry
that youll shut me out and not talk to me because i hurt you
that ill lose you
021105
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tessa I get so scared sometimes.
Other times the things that scare me make me so glad to be alive.
040403
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puredream Am I not allowed to be scared?

Am I not allowed to be afraid of the fact that I may not be capable of my own tomorrow. Afraid that I cannot walk by myself?

Whose idea was it to make me fear being scared?

The strong are fearless. BULLSHIT!

Those who are know how to fear and accept fear and work to understand fear are strong.

I want to be scared.
040531
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cocoon Too scared to do what I want, be who I want. 040601
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thougher than me if you're not scared, you're stupid 040924
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flux i disagree. ignorance is often a primary cause of fear. 040925
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not now i got scared by the noise 041018
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slothisily I'm afraid of the future, afraid of all things uncertain, afraid of being alone. Fear is my motivation. 041018
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mon uow of what just came back to me


i guess it never really left
050327
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silentbob of crowds 050630
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APRicochetMVP i'm scared that i'll become what i worked so hard to change in myself. i'm afraid that things won't stay the same despite the fact that they're so amazing the way they are now. 050630
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nom i don't know why i'm scared 060210
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im scared it's stupid 070102
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tessa if you knew why, would you still be scared? 070116
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nom i don't know 070116
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tessa anyone who is not scared
must be crazy
070117
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nom i can get very obsessed 070329
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tessa i'm scared again 070503
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no reason that these drugs won't work
that they don't know anything
that this will last
070503
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anouk I'm so scared that i'll fall in love with him.

I'm scared of having to make the choice between home and him.
080913
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nom i don't like feeling scared 081017
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amy adaptability i'm definitely scared of bars. i'm scared of drunk people. if you mention a bar or drunkenness i think of you as scary. or, at least, with nothing better to do.

so it's definitely something i avoid. drunkenness. yep. sorry. straight as an arrow. self-important. not at all out for fun. un-elated. un-suicidal.

fearful. that be a fear.

(more of all of that which you didn't want to know.)
130216
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tender_square there is a story on cbc about a hamilton woman and her family being evicted from their apartment after the building was sold. they have only interviewed the tenant. the landlord said she hoped her side of the story could also be told but declined further comment. it isn't clear to me where the story was left, whether the tenants are still in the apartment or what. in the comments section, people are coming to the defense of the landlord saying there is more to the story, that the tenant was given notice, offered another place to live and up to eight thousand dollars to leave. it's hard to know whether this information is accurate. but i know this. my real estate agent and his team have been trying to evict someone who has not been paying rent on their shared property. they supplied documentation to the ltb in january and they just got notice days ago that the hearing is scheduled...in june. this scares me for the situation i am currently in. my realtor is trying to find my tenant another place to live so we can break the lease but the market is tight (and who knows how amenable the tenant is to actually leaving). i've reached out to a paralegal for guidance and for pressure, for whether to know i have enough to begin eviction proceedings if this approach doesn't pan out. 230406
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