charcoal sun i was a soldier in the nutcracker.
pretty proud of myself too, they turned away a lot of people.
so we went out, and we bought all of the stuff i'd need.
and so it was the first performance.
right afterwards i tried to get the white makeup off of my face.
and i tried.
and i tried.
i used some sort of neutrogina facial wash, and i scrubbed and i scubbed and i scrubbed.
but finally i gave up, because it was time to go home.
but everyone else had no problems.
i felt so different with my still ahen face.
and this was the first time i hated being black.
<> *ashen 040616
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