making_the_possible_impossible raze there is this photograph you took — a winter nocturne infused with magic realism, snow streaked with footprints made purple by artificial light, black staff with orange crown, an arrow wedged deep in the night's heart, twigs from nearby tree branches wreathing the head of it in crooked sheets of illusory hair, and a dark-eyed girl taking flight in that light, her face only guessed at, one arm outstretched, one leg bent backward, kicking up to coil into itself the way an offered hand becomes a fist. you'd not want to be seen this way, when a searched-for escape means moving, not into or away, but side to side, as idle as life felt before you could name it. i would borrow this image, make it the cover of something, but i don't know how to ask permission when you're as dead as the grass on the ground will be a month from now, smothered premature by winter's too-cold kiss. i don't know how to ask for something when the artist whose blessing i seek no longer exists in a form capable of answering questions, mine or anyone's. you were once, are now not, and what might have been is only dust swirling somewhere beyond the scope of the unclothed eye. but i could lose myself in the unplanned flight of that winter fragment, if i could make up the distance between here and wherever your night is now. 131111 ... unhinged olga sometimes i still ache for your hugs my heart open out_stretched often i encounter the wrong person at the wrong time and curl back into myself no longer open_hearted you call and call and call i don't answer the phone the state doesn't want to fund public transportation my ability to be on time to work may be seriously altered i find myself wondering how it's possible that you want to spend time with me something as ephemeral as a new attraction i want pinned down like dead butterflies framed in shadowbox (es) concrete answers for unexplainable phenomena my heart and mind already racing ahead to what must be the inevitable outcome of ending shutting off shutting down protecting the very small bit of my heart still let untainted dovetailed with the reality of getting to know you but trying to stop the usual cliff_diving that my heart generally follows to break the same worn patterns made by years of treading in circles in the small cage i had made for my heart with expectation with heedlessness with impulsivity i am pulled between leaping and halting, digging in needed_reminders : don't block yourself from the love the universe is directing your way 131111 ... e_o_i Better than reading books upside down. I cannot hold a candle (to/o). The lamppost. Not Narnia, not quite Sarnia? Something. I'm trying to say what I feel, but when I feel I can't always say, just sound. 140404 ... unhinged i dont speak to you anymore ive wanted to countless times my heart couldnt handle your willful silence 140802 what's it to you? who go blather from