how_sad_is_the_day guitar_freak I think back sometimes to days where we would play on swings and chase boys down the street. I think back to when the crabapple trees would sway and we would hide and pelt the passersby with the little red projectiles. I think back to when we would walk to school even though we could get a ride. I think back to crushes and snowball fights, broken hearts and softball teams. I think back to our innocence and carefree summers. I think back to dares and secrets, lies and truths. I think back to bottles and pills and razors and smoke. I think back and I see you smiling and laughing as we gaze up at the smoke filled room I think back and I remember the darkness that emerged from innocence. I think back and I see you at the top of the slide screaming on your way down. I think back and I realize that that slide never ended and that we just kept running from freedom. I think back and I realize that we traveled the dubious path of addiction. I think back and remember that Dew and MTV and how it was SO rebellious. I think back and I remember my first drink and cigarette. I think back and I remember buying my first bag and how upset you were. I think back and I see us in my closet, I see us forgetting our innocence. I think back and I can't remember no matter how hard I try the times when we laughed and the times when we cried. I can't remember the days where things changed. We went from blue to black and clear to gray. We stopped trusting and started lying and we began fighting for our lives against the pain that we felt inside. And how didnt I know that things would end up this way. With the pain and pressure continuing today? And why couldn't you tell me what you felt inside? Why did I leave and why do you still die? Why can't we replace the black with the sun and the razors with pens and write this shit out? How do we go from bright green fields to dark hospital rooms with cameras and restraints? How does it feel to continue as you do? You are miserable and dark and I know you think like I do. I was done years ago because I couldn't continue to grow and not feel. How do you feel putting that shit into your head and how do you know that pain is not dead? Why don't find something to express the pain and anger and the general distress? Why don't join me and leave that shit and those people behind. Find a life that you enjoy instead of bitch and whine. I know you can do it because I did it too. Just remember those times back at the park where we met and competed and then slowly fell apart. Just remember that I love you as any friend would and that I care where you are and what you do. There is a barrier keeping you there. Find the key and say fuck it and join me in life get rid of the drama and start to enjoy life. Step through the barrier and you'll see I've been here all along to hug and to comfort and to help you go on. 031213 what's it to you? who go blather from