what_i_want nr it's a rare thing for me to know exactly what i want, but in this case, i've wanted it for a long time, and it's the right thing for me. which makes the fact that it's so difficult scary. but it provides motivation, if nothing else. 150219 ... unhinged making_out 150220 ... Lovers Lament This quiet life I have built for myself Like a nest to withstand the world I want to *want* to be different again To be the person in the middle of things, But that girl - she's gone. Moved on. Straight trade - quiet life instead of the Partying, the aches, and the pain. I don't want to go back to that but I wish I didn't feel the need to cut myself off from everything outside To hide in the comfort of this easier life. I wish I had the courage to take a leap of faith and see if I could fly But. That is no longer my life. I am grounded by you, tethered to our life. And looking up to the sky I can see others' flying, but that's alright I don't relish or miss those days I felt like I was dying Because of all this I have what I've always needed And it's bliss Everything I yearn for is too far in the past to grasp, But everything I *need* is right here waiting to be received. All I need is you. All I want is to be the best I can be for you. All I am grateful for begins and ends with you. You are everything I never knew I needed wrapped up in a golden bow And although I tell you daily you'll never know Just how much you saved me and pulled me back from the ledge One more step and I'd have been over the edge and gone forever... So I may yearn to be the girl that didn't use to fear crowds Didn't shy from people or noises too loud But everything I want is in the halls of our home That I never have to walk the road alone again is a blessing I've never known Because I have you. And you love me. Can't say I wasn't torn between the life I used to lead And this quiet reprieve at first, But thinking about it now, I think I'm already airborn Cruising the night skies and finally alive. Because I have you. And you love me. And I don't need or want the life I left behind Sometimes I just wish I could have brought the positive things forward with me in time So you could share in that with me too. But I have you. And you love me. And you are the air I breath The nourishment to my soul The whole when I was half The path I was too blind to see Until you showed it to me. I love you. I need you. I want you. I have you. My obsession, reflection, direction. What I want. 150221 ... epitome of incomprehensibility (Welcome back, or rather hello, lovers_lament... I like what you wrote, especially in I_read_myself, but I didn't feel like disturbing that page so I'm writing here. I am curious, are you into spoken_word poetry at all? I wrote a bit about a guy called Patrick_de_Belen who does that sort of stuff. I think your pieces here would fit well into that style.) 150221 ... e_o_i Also, on topic: I want more and less than what's good for me. I want recognition and respect and "honour cylinders" in dreams. I want to be alone sometimes and I want to have closer relationships. I want mint chocolate. I want better teeth. I want contradictions not to be contradictory anymore. 150221 ... nr is to be able to handle getting what i want 230114 what's it to you? who go blather from