i_feel_like_i've_been_gutted_with_a_spoon dukkha I can't think about you bestowing your gentle indulgent chuckling and dopey smiles and giddy excitement on another girl without starting to cry. I can't even do bland research on jealousy or attachment without starting to cry. I feel sick to my stomach. I want those things to be special to us, to me. But they can't be, because you have feelings for her, a phrase which is easy to say, but then when I really think about what it means to have feelings, I think I might throw up. 070305 ... stephshine that 1st line says it all. 070305 ... somebody Perhaps now you ought spoon someone with a gut. 070305 what's it to you? who go blather from