sprechgesang raze i'm sure the janitor will lose his shit when he sees me tracking wet snow through the hallway of my old grade school. he isn't bothered at all. he looks younger than i am. he's too handsome to be doing a job like this. he should be acting in infomercials. he asks if i'd be willing to answer a quick questionnaire. he holds up a sheet of computer-printed paper. no fancy font. no title or explanation. a series of cryptic riddles. the first one reads: "what's blue and only blinks once a day?" it has to be the sky. angela stands on the stone side porch of a house that's mine and not mine. i squirt something grey and viscous onto the railing. she vows to gather all she can after i've gone so the world can know my brilliance. as if the substance is a song. i leave her out there. i don't want anything to do with her. in the dining room, a friendly stranger sits beside me. i tap out a melody on the table. everything is an instrument. "i'd teach you how to dance," the man says. "but i don't have any limbs." i tell him he will again someday. "the secret is to syncopate," he says. angela breaks in using a credit card she probably stole. i hear the hiss of running water. i call out to my father. no answer. he can't hear me over the shower head's warm mist. the man without a name becomes a dog. i lock us both in an unoccupied bathroom. i leave the light off. i sit on the floor and stare at the door. the dog barks once. no menace in it. he knows it won't do any good. "you're gonna get attacked," i tell angela. she already has the brass knob between her fingers. i can see her without seeing her. i loved her once. or i thought i did. now the only thing i feel when i think of her is fear. cold and heavy. like drowning. "welcome back alone, no, no," she chants. "welcome back alone." i shove myself out of sleep to get away from her, waking with a dull headache the day will do nothing to diminish. 230808 what's it to you? who go blather from