slow_elevator_to_second_love peet we are halfway and already the view is more than i can contain. i want to see the whole. 111108 ... unhinged oddly, and embarrassingly to admit, it was an episode of gossip girl that made me fully embrace your love in my life. from the time i was a teenager, i had this fairytale romeo_and_juliet view of romance. my love would be great and fated and star_crossed. if it had to come down to it, i would swallow poison. and swallow poison i did. for almost a year and a half before i knew you, i swallowed his poison. the verbal, mental, and physical abuse were never slow. but my heart drowned out the quiet voice of reason in the back of my mind. it was fated, it was star_crossed , it was tragic. he was tragic, we were tragic. my heart was always aching. rapunzel waited in her tower. cinderella sat in the ashes. snow white lived quietly in the forest. we all just sat and waited. but my prince never came. i waited for him. i listened to him. i loved him. and he heaped nothing but shit on my head. one day the insane jealousy became too much and something in me snapped. suddenly, there was this voice in my head screaming 'what the FUCK are you doing? how did you let it get to this? how much longer will you let him shred your heart?' i went to the wine bar to talk to the manager, the bar tender when i was afraid i would give in. i didn't have many friends i didn't have to pay to listen to me. so i got home from work and felt the weakness in my heart, turned around, locked the door, and went downstairs. there you were. it didn't seem like much at first. another single guy sitting alone at the bar that she introduced me to, knowing you liked to dabble with veganism too. six_months_later every morning that i wake up, there is another degree of madness to my love for you. i waited for so long. i let so many evils convince me i was bad. but yet, when i am in your arms i get this feeling beyond words, that it is right. that we are right. that i am right. the slow elevator to my second love has turned out to be the best of my life. 111109 ... unhinged ah, the episode of gossip girl. she often compares blair to the fairy princess. her relationship with chuck reminded me of me and j. at the end of last season, she finally catches her prince charming (literally) and goes to break the news to chuck and what she said to him resonated so loudly in my heart i couldn't ignore it. 'love is not supposed to be sick and twisted. we are so sick and twisted. just let me be happy. he makes me happy' (sic) love is not tears love is not abuse love is not tragic love is me sharing every part of myself with you and never feeling stupid or inferior for that. 111109 ... peet oh wow! interesting definition of love. the thing that sucks is we are inferior. but not feeling that is erased by love. we are everything. that is luxury. 111110 ... unhinged I have been having this amazing groundless adventure; I picked up and left and started over. and I'm ready to come all that way back to you cause I can't bear the thought of doing it without you anymore 111120 what's it to you? who go blather from