rosin mon uow funny to me how i think of this still when we talk and agree it was mostly all surface because if he really cared he would've cared to have cared those years in vancouver he was in and out of every music store every day it seems new gong stand parts he would buy for new gong stands always a new and better gong stand design i needed rosin for my strings class but always he managed to not buy any and then the day he bought those cello bows for himself and rosin for himself and didn't think of me i guess that's when i realized he really didn't care and it's funny to me how i still think of this and sit here writing this and think it's funny 050402 ... mon uow because i don't want to hold a grudge i just want to understand 050403 ... mon uow how it was and how it is 050403 ... mon uow and how it is that i still cling to this forget? pretend? learn 050403 ... mon uow how people are how i am 050403 ... mon uow how i can forgive 050403 ... mon uow what there is to forgive 050403 ... unhinged green or amber (cakes being better than the ones encased in wood) the thinner they get, the more likely they are to precariously crack. then little sticky pieces of hardened purified sap make their way to every piece of wood and velvet in the case like a magnet. my first violin teacher always had rosin covering her black skirt on contest days. like a strange advertisement saying 'be sure to keep a rag in your case for cleaning' 050404 ... mon uow my violin teacher got annoyed with me when i ran out of rosin and my father kept 'forgetting' to pick me up some. i tried explaining, but who can explain craziness. in retrospect i guess i wish i'd just got some myself from the store, but, i guess maybe i was testing him, and myself. when my strings broke and i didn't have any spares, and my dad 'forgot' to get me some along with the rosin, i said fuckit and stopped playing, opting to focus more on guitar which i was just getting into at the time. but of course i'm playing again, sometimes, not really much now. i was never that fab, and now i just seem to be sliding backwards from lack of playing. i've been using hidersine black for the past while, though i have gotten into the terrible habit of not rosining enough, which i suppose is part laziness, part fatigue, and part 'i just got used to playing that way'. i have some heinl 'special resin' but i prefer the hidersine. i haven't tried that many kinds. 050404 ... mon uow oh well i guess it can be better to under-rosin versus over-rosin 050404 ... mon uow one thing i like to do (which i know is a big no-no in classical, but i heard it's not unheard of in old-timey folk especially scottish type of fiddle so i feel less stupid for doing it), is to leave some rosin on the fiddle... i wipe it occasionally, but when it's builtup you can take the bow and run it over and get some dust like that, esentially rosining without having to actually rosin. a lot of the old players who couldn't afford rosin did this,...some still do. some never clean their fiddle. of course leaving rosin on a fiddle can dull it and eventually destroy it, but,...i don't know, i just like a bit of accumulated rosin on the wood and strings! too much aint good but a little aint too bad, and a little dust can come in handy if you've 'forgotten' to rosin...or you can't afford any, or whatever. 050404 ... raze a bar of soap i couldn't use to get clean, and someone who made promises she never meant to keep, the last letter of her name lopped off. the better to disguise herself as an agent of friction. 240110 what's it to you? who go blather from