feel_something Bespeckled Your words stifled in your throat (I assume) are they waffling in your belly waiting to break free? Mine are. Oh they long to slap you in the face with the force of their truth. Mine are in there, choking on misunderstanding, on waiting for yours to burst through, on waiting for a sign of passionate life to beam through your eyes to me. "Boyfriend - girlfriend" means what exactly? Sex? Love? Security? Passion? No, no, maybe (so what?), and um? Do you know what passion is? Do you know what it's like to have fire consume you totally - every breath a rush of electricity from your mouth down through your fingertips, the current pulsating through your torso and into your toes. Your mind wanting nothing more than to roll over the image of your face, your lips, your eyebrows, your teeth - over, over, over, over, over. Hot energy so strong you don't doubt that you'll burst into a million pieces unless we take our clothes off now and just fuck already. Jealousy so strong it makes you want to put a knife into your head - or mine, or the bed, or rip the paint off the walls, or kick holes in the doors, or write scores of musical lyrics in the sides of cars with a long rusty axe. Do you feel this? Do you love me? Do you want to eat me, scratch me, hold me so tight that no one else can even see me? Do you want the world to swallow us whole and consume my body, soul and mind? Do you FEEL THIS?!? 081203 ... auburn If it alright with you, I'd like to use this as a monologue for an upcoming audition. 081204 ... unhinged you try to hide the jealousy in your eyes, but your actions, words betray you. if you would just say it, i would be yours. but you leave me hanging by a thin thread, as usual. years of this bullshit wearing thin, but i would still be yours if you asked me to. your ego wants me to chase, cry, beg, plead and i don't do those things. i've already said i_love_you . what else is left? 081204 ... Bespeckled Sure, auburn. That's awesome. Let me know how it goes. Feel free to change it when you do perform it -- if you do, let me know what you changed -- it'd be cool to see your interpretation. 081208 ... auburn I didn't use it for the audition I intended. But...tomorrow 5:30pm (whatever timezone I live in) I will be reciting YOU. I am drinking tea now. I've been reciting your lines so many times, I'm losing my voice. I hope that I do your words justice. --I am not changing anything because then it wouldn't be yours. I am just trying to mimic or reinvent the emotion behind what you wrote. ----Thanks for letting me use it. It's quite perfect for the role I'm aspiring to this time round. 090416 ... Bespeckled How'd it go? 090423 ... auburn It was my best audition ever. I don't think I really fit what they're looking for, but I've never enjoyed a monologue quite so much. Thank you. 090424 ... auburn I still think about this performance. It was fucking erotic. 100217 ... Bespeckled If you have a video of it, I would love to see it! It would be a cool portfolio piece -- and I'd just be interested to hear my words in a performance context. I'm still flattered and honored that you used it! 100218 ... auburn No video. Want me to do a voice recording? 100218 ... Bespeckled Yeah, awesome! 100220 ... unhinged hip_hop free tequila and contribute the tobacco to a spliff esb free that's me as i look across the street my transfer pulls off i stand in the cold that turns to flurries listening to bjork the next thing i know my toes, fingers are numb and by the time the bus finally comes i'm sitting in the handicap seats cause i feel something 100221 ... unhinged (cause for a long minute i was the only girl in a bar full of drunk guys who had been drinking all day on a sunday in milwaukee free_tequila hell yes) 100221 ... no reason feel_nothing 100222 what's it to you? who go blather from