epiphany recovering addict i used to hang out around here a lot fragmented but now things have become whole and i can't hear the pieces rattling. i am somewhat whole. more whole than i have ever been. and these cells cry out with joy. 010514 ... soia whatever I do you'll always see the way I was and not the way I am. 010515 ... silentbob i am thinking its a sign that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they are perfectly aligned 050219 ... Sonya I no longer look for his number on my cell phone...instead I am looking for his number. It is strange to live with someone for 2 years and know exactly how he snores and how he likes his eggs and how he ties his shoes...and then one day you leave and it all becomes a big blurry memory. And then one day you wake up and you realize you don't want to remember this memory anymore... and then one day monthes or years down the road you remember it and it no longer moves you the way it once did. When will the search end? With K? With some unknown guy in the video game club or some guy in econ? How could I have been so wrong? How could I have been so blind as to think P was the one? Does time really equate to being more meaningful? 3 years vs. falling for someone within days or weeks? All the accounting and stats courses in the world couldn't help me figure out this problem set. Where is the damn cheat sheet for love when you need it? I think I want to drop this course and go back to solitude 101 sometimes. the studious feline 051104 ... Sonya Sometimes I have seemingly happy epiphanies where I realize I'm just lying to myself. It is amazing how the human mind will try to convince itself that everything is peachy keen when things are tragically black with sadness. Give me the novocaine, please. 051108 ... megan Te quiero más porque los años pasan sin mirarte a diario, trecho a trecho; porque a veces no sé si eres presencia o si eres más la evocación de un sueño. Si echo atrás a la memoria, me parece que acabas de nacer para mí, nuevo; pero no olvido que se pasa pronto y que mañana volveré a ti muerto. De tanto amarte ya tan solo cuenta el don fugaz de retener tu aliento: de sentir la emoción de tu paisaje y la ilusión de regresar al puerto. Quise guardarte junto a mi, y la vida me echaba siempre de tu lado, lejos; por caminos de angustia y soledades que no fueron tus lúcidos senderos. Te busqué entre mis sombras, como busca perdido el paso de quien anda ciego: sin recobrar la ruta atrás dejada, porque no vuelve -pero pasa- el tiempo. ¿Adónde fue mi andar de Continentes que no me acompañaras pecho adentro? Pero ¿y la imagen de tus costas tibias y el hechizo lontano de tu cielo? Verte un instante no es volverme todo al calor maternal que hay en tu seno. Y cuando, vuelva, no seré, habré sido para hundirme en la entraña de lo eterno. 051109 ... AfPRicochetMVP cuz it's always raining in my head 051109 ... raze my calendar says this happened yesterday, but i don't remember any sudden powerful realizations. my calendar lies. 140107 ... unhinged culinary_epiphanies quiet_realizations 140108 ... e_o_i How do I know Epiphany is Jan. 6? When Mr. Have-You-Read-Hegel was on his Orthodox Christian kick and I was scheming to make him fall in love with me or at least talk with me about Europe, and how people live in it, my father suggested I send him an "e-card for Epiphany." I told this to J later and she laughed. "Don't send him an e-card for Epiphany." I didn't send him an e-card for Epiphany, and he went to back to Austria when the term ended, but that line made its way into a break-up song that I pretended had to do with Jesus. And I showed it to L., who thinks the chorus sounds like Taylor Swift. We are never, ever, ever getting back together. Memory! L. at age 5 or 6: "I'm not going to be your cousin anymore!" On the music front, radio_80hd-wise, I'm leaning towards either Alexina Louie or Oscar Peterson. I guess I'm nationalistic and pianistic after all? 140108 what's it to you? who go blather from