cherries tender_square the doctor at the urgent care recommended an ekg. nash, the nurse, led me into the machine room. "you're going to have to remove your bra," he said. "but you can just lift your shirt up instead of taking it off." i turned my back to him and lifted the sweater over my head. moved my hands to the clasp at the back and pulled the straps through the arm holes of my t-shirt, placed the clothes into a pile on the chair. i lay upon the gurney covered in a big blue shower cap. "all the way up?" i pulled my swervedriver shirt up over my breasts. nash began sticking square patches to areas of my torso. i looked up at the ceiling and coached myself to breathe. he asked what i did for a living. i said i was looking for something to occupy my time. "what did you use to do?" "mostly admin work, but i have experience as an editor and as a writer." "what kind of writing?" i paused. "poetry." "no way! i love poetry!" "oh, really? who do you like reading?" "emily dickinson is my girl. i just sent a friend 'have you got a brook in your little heart.'" the stickers were cold as they were affixed to my skin. "i'm not sure i know that one." "what do you write about?" "it's mostly narrative pieces, things about family and the past." "i bet you don't have a bigger family than i do," he boasted. "i'm sure that's true," i answered. "how big is your family?" "i have ten siblings, and i'm the oldest." "woah! so you've been helping to raise kids for a long time." nash rolled up my pant legs and placed a sensor above each ankle. "yeah, and i have a daughter of my own, she just turned eight." "how young is your youngest sibling?" "thirteen," he said. "i've been a dad for a long time." he pulled a bouquet of wires from a machine and began to clip them against each electrode. "i want more kids," he continued. "but i need a wife first. i don't want a bunch of baby mamas. i already have one and she's crazy." he walked over to the machine. "just take a series of normal breaths he said." the reading was over after several seconds. "it takes longer to set up the test than to take it, huh?" nash unclasped me from the machine. i rolled my shirt part way down and began to peel off the trail of stickers. the results of the test were fine. my heart was normal. 230127 ... kerry when he goes to the store i ask him to check for rainier cherries. they are the best. they remind me of the mackinaw peaches that kramer gushes about, (the internet is conflicted about whether these are real or fictional) only ripe 2 weeks of the year. i remind him they are the red and yellow ones. he still hasn't come home with any. i worry that i missed the season. we don't get good produce in the city; maybe they'll never arrive at all. he brings home cherries so dark red they're nearly black. they're imperfect, some even fused together, and they are so sweet, so tangy, i think of the black cherry soda i used to buy at java monkey when i was a teenager and it felt so special at the time though it's kind of ordinary, and i suck every bit every thread of pulp from the pit and i want to call someone anyone and tell them even though they aren't rainier cherries they are the best cherries i've ever eaten. 230705 what's it to you? who go blather from