kristian fucked once too often I still think of him sometimes when I masturbate. 100702 ... does it ease the pain? I miss his voice. no 100713 ... does it ease the pain? One year on and I am still wondering what happened and trying to let go. I guess having something else to grab on to is my usual remedy for this situation; but this free fall, despite its deliberateness, is at times a little hard to steer. 100719 ... today oh how I hate thee, let me count the ways. 100725 ... does it ease the pain? I look at Paula's photos of Santorini and my heart breaks just a little more but tomorrow I know I will wake; my hatred grown and fully restored 100919 what's it to you? who go blather from