uncles raze the best part of that week-long period when different relatives would visit on different days and we would pretend every day was christmas all over again was when uncle jimmy and uncle donny would come over with their acoustic guitars on boxing_day. i would set up my keyboard in the living room, they would sit to my right, and we would jam. mostly classic rock songs. "closer to home (i'm your captain)". "time in a bottle". "stealin". "can't you see". uncle jimmy would do "rocky raccoon" on his own. my mom would smile when he sang her name. he didn't have much of a voice, but he had a great personality. he always looked like a big kid with his wild, curly hair. donny was quieter, but he was all heart. he married a woman who hated his guts because he didn't think anyone else would ever love her. he didn't think anyone would ever love him either. but i did. he listened to me sing "without you" and said, "that's great, but how would *you* sing it? i want to hear your voice." at first i would just sing "d'yer mak'er" and spend the rest of my time backing them up. i got a little bolder every year. i sang "breakdown" by tom petty and the heartbreakers. i sang "feel like makin' love" and when it was time for the guitar solo, we stopped playing, jimmy held out his guitar, and he said, "there's a guitar. solo." i screamed at the end of the bridge in "live and let die" and my stepfather laughed like i'd never heard him laugh before. i did "mother" in front of my own mother. i sang, "you had me, but i never had you," and it went right over her head. the year the pearl jam version of "last kiss" was all over the radio, we played that one too. everyone sang along. even aunt laurie. and she was the most miserable person who ever lived. after one of our jams, donny gave me his email address and said to send him a list of songs i wanted to play so he and jimmy could learn them ahead of time. that way we could really go all-out next year. but there wouldn't be a next year. i wouldn't spend another christmas in that house. i wonder what the cousin i hadn't seen in years would have looked like if i'd been there the year she came over on christmas day. my mom said she was going to make me pop my zipper. who says something like that? and i wonder if donny and jimmy still bring their guitars with them when they visit on boxing_day, or if that tradition died with me. not that i'm dead. but as far as that house and those people are concerned, i might as well be. 211226 what's it to you? who go blather from